{"id":419,"date":"2003-12-01T22:19:35","date_gmt":"2003-12-02T02:19:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/philip.greenspun.com\/blogtest\/2003\/12\/01\/why-pretend-to-care-about-others-wh"},"modified":"2003-12-01T22:19:35","modified_gmt":"2003-12-02T02:19:35","slug":"why-pretend-to-care-about-others-when-we-have-professional-therapis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/philip.greenspun.com\/blog\/2003\/12\/01\/why-pretend-to-care-about-others-when-we-have-professional-therapis\/","title":{"rendered":"Why pretend to care about others when we have professional therapists?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a name='a3094'><\/a><\/p>\n<p><P>A friend criticized me for being unsympathetic regarding a concern of hers that I thought was irrational.&nbsp; She believed that a friend ought to care simply because another human being is apprehensive, even if that apprehension is not justified.&nbsp; During this exchange it occurred to me that there is actually no reason for the layperson to be sympathetic or empathetic in any modern situation.<\/P><br \/>\n<P>Three hundred years ago everyone had to know how to make soap.&nbsp; Today we can run down to the store and buy Ivory or Palmolive.<\/P><br \/>\n<P>Three hundred years ago friends needed to empathize with one another.&nbsp; Today anyone who wishes to get sympathy for his or her troubles can simply buy it from one of the hundreds of thousands of trained professionals in the therapy industry.<\/P><br \/>\n<P>Friendship isn&#8217;t obsolete of course.&nbsp; Psychotherapists aren&#8217;t very entertaining so we might still rely on friends for amusement.&nbsp; But why bother pretending to care about another person&#8217;s troubles when there are so many psychotherapists out there who actually&nbsp;do care, truly, deeply, <EM>professionally<\/EM>?<\/P><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A friend criticized me for being unsympathetic regarding a concern of hers that I thought was irrational.&nbsp; She believed that a friend ought to care simply because another [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-419","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fromtheoldserver"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Why pretend to care about others when we have professional therapists? 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