Bill Clinton, Humanitarian, as portrayed in the Paula Jones Complaint

part of Heather has Two Mommies
MIT Graduation 1998

[Skip to Item 18 if you are patience-challenged.]

6. On or about March 11, 1991, Jones began work as an Arkansas State employee for the Arkansas Industrial Development Commission (hereafter "AIDC"), an agency within the executive branch of the State of Arkansas. The Governor of Arkansas is the chief executive officer of the executive branch of the State of Arkansas.

7. On May 8, 1991, the AIDC sponsored the Third Annual Governor's Quality Management Conference (hereafter "Conference"), which was held at the Excelsior Hotel in Little Rock, Arkansas. Clinton, then Governor of Arkansas, delivered a speech at the Conference on that day.

8. Also on that day, Jones worked at the registration desk at the Conference along with Pamela Blackard (hereafter "Blackard") another AIDC employee.

9. A man approached the registration desk and informed Jones and Blackard that he was Trooper Danny Ferguson, Bill Clinton's bodyguard. Defendant Ferguson was at that time a law enforcement officer within the ranks of the Arkansas State Police and assigned to the Governor's Security Detail. He was in street clothes and displayed a firearm on his person. He made small talk with Jones and Blackard and then left.

10. At approximately 2:30 p.m. on that day, Ferguson reappeared at the registration desk, delivered a piece of paper to Jones with a four digit number written on it and said: "The Governor would like to meet with you" in this suite number. Plaintiff had never met Defendant Clinton and saw him in person for the first time at the Conference.

11. A three-way conversation followed between Ferguson, Blackard and Jones about what the Governor could want. Jones, who was then a rank-and-file Arkansas state employee being paid approximately $ 6.35 an hour, thought it was an honor to be asked to meet the Governor. Ferguson stated during the conversation: "It's okay, we do this all the time for the Governor."

12. Jones agreed to meet with the Governor because she thought it might lead to an enhanced employment opportunity with the State. Blackard told Jones that she would assume Plaintiff's duties at the registration desk.

13. Trooper Ferguson then escorted Jones to the floor of the hotel suite whose number had been written on the slip of paper Trooper Ferguson had given to Jones. The door was slightly ajar when she arrived at the suite.

14. Jones knocked on the door frame and Clinton answered. Plaintiff entered. Ferguson remained outside.

15. The room was furnished as a business suite, not for an overnight hotel guest. It contained a couch and chairs, but no bed.

16. Clinton shook Jones' hand, invited her in, and closed the door.

17. A few minutes of small talk ensued, which included asking Jones about her job. Clinton told Jones that Dave Harrington is "my good friend." On May 8, 1991, David Harrington was Director of the AIDC, having been appointed to that post by Governor Clinton. Harrington was Jones' ultimate superior within the AIDC.

18. Clinton then took Jones' hand and pulled her toward him, so that their bodies were in close proximity.

19. Jones removed her hand from his and retreated several feet.

20. However, Clinton approached Jones again. He said: "I love the way your hair flows down your back" and "I love your curves." While saying these things, Clinton put his hand on Plaintiff's leg and started sliding it toward the hem of Plaintiff's culottes. Clinton also bent down to attempt to kiss Jones on the neck.

21. Jones exclaimed, "What are you doing?" and escaped from Clinton's physical proximity by walking away from him. Jones tried to distract Clinton by chatting with him about his wife. Jones later took a seat at the end of the sofa nearest the door. Clinton asked Jones: "Are you married?" She responded that she had a regular boyfriend. Clinton then approached the sofa and as he sat down he lowered his trousers and underwear exposing his erect penis and asked Jones to "kiss it."

22. There were distinguishing characteristics in Clinton's genital area that were obvious to Jones.

23. Jones became horrified, jumped up from the couch, stated that she was "not that kind of girl" and said: "Look, I've got to go." She attempted to explain that she would get in trouble for being away from the registration desk.

24. Clinton, while fondling his penis said: "Well, I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do." Clinton then stood up and pulled up his pants and said: "If you get in trouble for leaving work, have Dave call me immediately and I'll take care of it." As Jones left the room Clinton looked sternly at Jones and said: "You are smart. Let's keep this between ourselves."

25. Jones believed "Dave" to be the same David Harrington, of whom Clinton previously referred. Clinton, by his comments about Harrington to Jones, affirmed that he had control over Jones' employment, and that he was willing to use that power. Jones became fearful that her refusal to succumb to Clinton's advances could damage her in her job and even jeopardize her employment.

26. At no time, nor in any manner, did Jones encourage Clinton to turn the meeting toward a sexual liaison. To the contrary, the unwanted sexual advances made by Clinton were repugnant and abhorrent to Jones who took all reasonable steps she could think to do to terminate Clinton's perverse attention and actions toward her.

27. Jones left the hotel suite and came into the presence of Trooper Ferguson in the hallway. Ferguson did not escort Plaintiff back to the registration desk. Jones said nothing to Ferguson and he said nothing to her during her departure from the suite.

If you just can't hear enough about this exciting saga, read the full Complaint.

The photo above

The photo of President Clinton is from MIT's 1998 graduation, before which students received the following email message:
Date: Thu, 4 Jun 98 04:52:55 EDT
To: aac-aoquery@MIT.EDU
Cc: gayle@MIT.EDU
Subject:  Attire for June 5 Commencement - Message for All Students
From: tha@MIT.EDU   (Thomas H. Adams)
Priority: urgent

Please post in your respective DLC's as appropriate.

There has been some recent controversy surrounding appropriate attire for
Commencement.  Normally, the Office of the Dean for Student Affairs would
not need to take a position on this issue.  However, it seems that a
substantial number of female students are considering a suggestive and
offensive form of dress.

It therefore is necessary for the Office of the Dean for Student Affairs to
declare that the wearing of black berets and kneepads by alumnae-to-be at
graduation is hereby forbidden.
This dress code will be strictly enforced for all participants in the
commencement procession.  No exceptions or exemptions will be made.

Thomas H. Adams, Special Ass't to the Dean for Student Affairs
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
Office of the Dean of Students and Undergraduate Education
77 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA  02139-4307

And now for something completely different

Ellen Wurzo, a 34-year-old secretary, has announced she intends to file suit against President Clinton because he declined to have sex with her. She had announced her intentions to bed the President to all her friends and coworkers, but when she propositioned Clinton at a fundraising party, he replied, "that's out of the question," and walked away. Wurzo claims that this unexpected rejection cost her $16,000 in psychiatric bills, sent her into utter depression, gave her a nervous tic, and made her contemplate suicide. She wants some money to compensate. "I was so crushed at the rejection," she says, "that you wouldn't believe it."

Maybe it is time to return to Heather Has Two Mommies.

MIT Center for Political Correctness, room NE43-414 / 545 Technology Square / Cambridge, MA 02139 USA / (617) 253-8574

Reader's Comments

Suggestive and offensive?  That is just not possible!  And who says knee-pads are "suggestive", anyway?

-- David Bessey, October 12, 1999
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