The Second Violinist is in a practice room at Symphony Hall. The police knock on the door: “We’ve got some bad news for you, sir. Your house burned down and your children were injured. They’ve been taken to the hospital.”
“That’s terrible!” exclaimed the Second Violinist. “How did it happen?”
“I’m sorry to have to tell you this, sir,” continued the policeman, “but it seems that the Conductor has been having an affair with your wife. They were in your bedroom, smoking cigarettes after having sex, and got careless. The cigarettes lit the bedclothes on fire and then it spread to the rest of the house.”
The Second Violinist seemed stunned for a moment as a look of wonder spread over his face. “The Conductor? … Came to MY house?”
——————————
This story may explain how things spiraled into violence in Iraq. George W. kept mentioning Saddam and Iraq in his speeches. If Saddam had been watching CNN he’d have seen the most powerful man in the world focussed on him and the country that he owned. It would have been a lot scarier for Saddam if W. had said, in response to a question about Iraq, “I delegated the issue to a one-star general, who has full authority to bomb Saddam if necessary, and he will be giving me a report six months from now.”
I recall seeing a headline “President delivers ultimatum to Saddam Hussein”. How much more scared would Saddam have been if the headline had read “Administrative assistant to 3rd Undersecretary of State delivers ultimatum to Saddam”?
I don’t get it.
Did they usually go to the conductor’s house?
Oh thats good, thats REAL good. lol.
Esmith: I’m guessing based upon my own band experiences, but basically since he was only second string why would the conductor have anything to do with him? He was the backup, one of many instead of the first chair, the head of many. So basically, here the conductor is having something to do with him, albet in an indirect and obscene fashion. Follow?
That follow thing makes you sound like Lonnegan in The Sting. Didn’t he always say
“Folla”?
Actually no I don’t Follow. I’m just a loser who couldn’t get in the band 🙁
Because President Bush has got better things to do, and that’s what lackeys are for, and remember this war is about enlightenment, check out
http://members.ozemail.com.au/~selfsame/VegiesforBush.html
to see why
Are you PRO-war?
The idea is, 2nd violinists in orchestras are “ignored”
Well at least his wife was happy.
Oh, Philip…
The violence in Iraq has nothing to do with Saddam Hussein, everything to do with controlling the Middle East. Hussein is merely the cover.
Nice to see you have a blog, though a bit disorienting since it’s at Harvard. I’ll have to remember to check back occasionally. Hmmm… say, quarterly?
Philip,
These jokes are usually framed in terms of Violists, not 2nd Violinists.
Pete Levin has the best list of viola jokes I’ve seen. It’s at http://www.petelevin.com/violajokes.htm
Cheers,
DB
You seem to suggest that if Saddam was scared enough, Bush would have sense enough not to go to war.
You’re missing the point. The war was in the works for at least a year! The 60+ billion of YOUR hard earned money is going to be applied against the “pre work” they did leading up to the actual deed.
This war was imposed. The American establishment would have used “horses of mass destruction” excuse if they had to, to further brutalize this nation.
This war could not be avoided. Because the proponents DID NOT WANT TO!
Hussein would not have been more frightened. He simply would have been insulted. The Arab street would have been insulted and called it another act of Western humiliation of the Arab world. There are no simple solutions to the middle east. Oil buys autocratic and fascist leadership and keeps it in power. It won’t change until the oil runs out or someone upsets the apple cart.