Conversation with a friend who immigrated to the U.S. to attend Harvard College:
- Me: Do you and [Betsy] want to go for a walk in the woods tomorrow morning with Mindy the Crippler?
- Him: I don’t know if she’s free.
- Me: Can you ask?
- Him: She’s working from home. I’m not allowed to go into her woman-hole.
- Me: Take it from a native English speaker… that is probably not the idiom you’re looking for.
(It later transpired that his native-speaker daughter, whose room is upstairs, referred to mom’s ground floor home office as a “woman cave” and this had been slightly altered in the dad’s mind.)
Separately, we came up with a strategy in case any of the righteous townsfolk scolded us for failure to social distance. The response: “I’m sorry if you don’t approve of our lifestyle. My husband and I are accustomed to homophobia, but I think his sister here would learn from a dialog. Shall we head down to the rainbow chairs at the First Parish Church and discuss your feelings about same-sex relationships?”
- “Harvard graduate discovers that the suburbs are packed with narrow-minded white heterosexuals” (lecture by the double victim who briefly held the pastor position at the church above)
In these times of coronashortage, gang turf wars can extend into the supermarket. Honey Crips apples, for example:
(from the Waltham, Massachusetts Market Basket, October 2019)
Related:Full post, including comments
That’s my meme for the day:
I’m so old I remember when flying helicopters was dangerous and shopping for groceries was safe.
A viral-ready version for the viral age:Full post, including comments
A ray of sunshine in these dark COVID-19 times, from the Harvard Bookstore, Yes She Can: 10 Stories of Hope & Change from Young Female Staffers of the Obama White House:
It’s part of a series, but the bookstore said they were sold out of the volume from “young female staffers of the Bill Clinton White House.”
#InspiringFull post, including comments
The Samsung repair guy came into our pantry/laundry closet last week to fix the dryer. I cleared mountains of clutter away from the appliance, including 11 rolls of paper towels, 29 rolls of Charmin, 161 Ziploc bags, 33 squeeze bags of apple sauce, and a six-pack of individually packaged roasted chestnuts from China. I moved the quart of vanilla extract and the 3 lb. bag of walnuts that was resting on a pallet of Kirkland AA batteries. I slid the four tubes of Colgate back and asked if he needed a few of the ibuprofen pills from the yoked-together 500-pill bottles.
He said “Wow, I’ve never seen a household that was this well-stocked for a quarantine before.” I replied, “Quarantine? Those are just the leftovers from shopping at Costco in January, before we’d even heard of coronavirus.”
[For students of state-of-the-art appliances, this was an extra large gas dryer, 9.5 cu. ft. capacity, DV56H9100GW, purchased six years ago for $1,200. The theory was that we’d have to do laundry just one per week in our monster front-loading machines. In practice, we end up doing a lot of small loads and regular-sized machines would have worked just as well. Engineering the huge drum is apparently a challenge. The cracked drum generated a vibration, which took out some of the drive mechanism. The warranty period is two years and the cost of repairs is about $600, including two visits.]Full post, including comments
Meme for the day:Full post, including comments
I posted the following image on Facebook with the preface “Certificated helicopter pilot and former divorce plaintiff flee Buckingham Palace via bus. #LEGOdrama #LowCarbonFootprint”:
(Check lower left corner of the frame; Built by a friend’s daughters in Bermuda.)Full post, including comments
“His lifestyle is very different and kind of intriguing although it would not work for me,” Mr. Gates emailed colleagues in 2011, after his first get-together with Mr. Epstein.
Almost as good as The Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook:
Today I made a Black Forest cake out of five pounds of cherries and a live beaver, challenging the very definition of the word “cake.” I was very pleased. Malraux said he admired it greatly, but could not stay for dessert. Still, I feel that this may be my most profound achievement yet, and have resolved to enter it in the Betty Crocker Bake-Off.
Also in the article…
Mr. Gates, in turn, praised Mr. Epstein’s charm and intelligence. Emailing colleagues the next day, he said: “A very attractive Swedish woman and her daughter dropped by and I ended up staying there quite late.”