Illustrating the depth of ignorance of family law in the U.S. is this advice column in the Detroit Free Press:
I have a 12-year-old daughter. Her biological father passed away when she was 2 years old. I got married when she was 5. He and I separated when she was 10. We’re now divorced. … He calls and asks to take her to dinner or to do fun things during the day. This is great, but he does not help me financially. … I sometimes feel resentful that I am the one paying for school activities, birthdays and necessities, and he still gets to spend time with her whenever he wants without helping me. I’ve always wanted to be kind, and I can provide on my own, but this has become a nagging thought. … I wish he … would give me a monthly amount, like child support.
The columnist responds that, due to the lack of any biological link between the potential defendant and the child, litigation to turn the child into a cash source wouldn’t work. But the “Post-Divorce Child Support Collection… from non-parents” section of http://www.realworlddivorce.com/PostDivorceLitigation shows that it is in fact possible.
[Separately, the article also shows the superior financial security enjoyed by successful child support plaintiffs compared to married parents. The biological father “passed away” and it is possible, e.g., if the seeker of advice had been married, that the widow suffered a loss of income as a result. Had she divorced the biological father and obtained a child support order, the father would have, at least in many states, also been ordered to purchase life insurance (at an additional cost, above and beyond the child support cashflow) with his plaintiff as beneficiary.]
She should be kissing this man’s feet for acting as a good father figure to her daughter. This monetary entitlement women feel towards men who *used to* have sexual access to them needs to end.
I was taken aback by the mom’s sense of entitlement. She could have proposed adoption or joint legal custody. She could be grateful for the assistance. But she just wants money, and seems to think that she is entitled to it.
I never heard of child support from anyone but a legal parent. Sometimes there is no biological link (such as from adoption or some other legal fiction), but always a legal parent. I guess I did not read that part of your book.
Here in California, there can be 3 or more legal parents, so the husband could still become a legal parent even if the real dad had not died.
The commenters point out that the woman should be receiving death benefits from the bio-dad for the child and that apparently you can’t get child support and death benefits (is this the case?) together.
Spending time with a surly pre-teenage girl is such an honor and a privilege that not only should the divorced step father be required to pay child support but also her teachers, soccer coach, baby sitter, indeed anyone who she says hello to, should also be required to send the mother a check every month.
Talk about a sense of entitlement. The woman should be happy there is an active father figure in her daughter’s life.
What next? People participating in Big Brothers and Big Sisters need to pay child support?