My Indian-American friends tell me that kids in India generally aren’t kept on a schedule and that the concept of a fixed “bedtime” doesn’t exist at all. Children may stay up as late as 11 pm or midnight at family gatherings, for example, and children left with immigrant grandparents for a weekend will not be kept on a bedtime schedule.
The U.S., on the other hand, seems to have an entire industry devoted to putting kids to bed at a specific and consistent time.
Readers: Are my friends’ experiences representative? If so, is there a practical and/or long-term effect from this lack of schedule?
It’s the ideal way to prepare them for a call center schedule, serving customers in different time zones.
My experience with my own kids, and my friends’ kids, tells me that young kids can’t manage their own schedules any more than they manage their own diets.
Having a fixed schedule for our daughter (19 months) is frankly as much for us as it is for her. We put her to bed at the same time every night (745 PM, +/- 15 minutes). She wakes up at the same time every morning (7 AM, +/- 15 minutes). This makes things like planning our evening activities, what time to eat dinner, whether to exercise or watch TV etc much, much easier. If when she got tired was some sort of wide probability distribution function it would just kind of suck for me.
I’ve been informed by the (US!) child-parenting complex that one of the benefits of an extremely consistent schedule is that kids are allegedly less anxious. If they have a routine, they know what to expect and are allegedly better behaved.
My only point of contrast is my sister, whose son (my nephew) appears to have a much more lax schedule. On a recent family vacation she didn’t really attempt to enforce a bedtime, which resulted in him being a holy terror running around the house screaming at 11 PM, and thus waking up my daughter. I didn’t especially appreciate this class of civilizations.
Having seen many Spanish, Portuguese and Greek kids and toddlers on the playgrounds around and after midnight it doesn’t seem much of an issue to me anymore. I would guess India has the same logic, you don’t want to force anyone out in 40+°C, after dark is when life barely starts. In the hot summer it is crazy to go out in the sun so they simply modify the schedule.
Being an Indian living in India I can attest to (a significant number of, if not most) Indian kids having no fixed bedtime or any other strict schedule which when violated would be frowned upon.
Weekends are especially lax as are family holidays, visits to grandparents and other social gatherings. An illustrative example is that of wedding ceremonies in North Indian states which go on for the whole night. Kids enjoy it as much as adults do and no one really looks at the clock.
That is not to say there is no schedule in daily life. For instance there’s school, evening play time, dinner time and such but for most part as long as things work no one really cares if the kids are following a set schedule.
I don’t think having a strict bedtime (or not) is any better or worse for the children or the parents. You’ve got to figure out what works best for you in your environment.
Are Indian homes still multi-generational? Perhaps if the live-in grandparents are there to relieve the parents, then reclaiming the late evenings for adult activities is not as important. (to the “as much for us as for her” idea)
Yeah, it doesn’t matter much about strict bedtimes when lots of others (mostly women) are around. When it’s just you and your spouse, then a fixed bedtime is about a sanity break for mom and dad.
Do the Indian kids sleep in a separate bedroom or in the parents bedroom? That may make a big difference.
My kid (8yo) is happier when he gets the appropriate amount of sleep. When he is deprived of a few hours of sleep he is cantankerous the next morning. Make of this what you will. I would rather he sleep at 8 and wake up at 7:30 so that he has the best shot of having a fantastic time whether it be at school or playing with friends/grandparents on the weekend. To answer your question though, yes other cultures may not adhere to strict bed times, but if those same kids aren’t getting a steady amount of sleep each night their mental and physical performance will suffer to varying degrees.
@Philip
Your Indian-American friends did not tell you that in India, they take nap hours throughout the day (especially in the afternoon). And they did not tell you that in India they don’t have strict 9-5 working schedule.
India and the Middle East have a lot in common: many shops are open for few hours in the morning, close till 2 or 4 PM, and reopen at 6 or 7 for few more hours. Now if there is a party going on, and they do have a lot of parties [1], the whole family will be up partying from midnight till 6 AM.
The hot dry weather is one factor that leads to this lifestyle.
[1] In Syria, with the 5+ years war still raging on, they still have parties lasting into the morning hours. In fact, if you don’t reserve your table, you are out of luck.