Thoughtful perspective on family matters

by philg

Woman behind counter at Blick Art Supplies in Ft. Lauderdale, when I said that I needed directions to the part of the store selling items to keep a 1.5-year-old and a 3-year-old busy:

Having children is like getting a tattoo on your face. You have to really want it because you’re going to be looking at it every day.

Louis Zamperini, in Devil at My Heels:

The mayor asked, “Did anything good come out of your two and a half years as a prisoner of war?”

“Yes,” I said. “It prepared me for fifty-three years of married life.”

Readers: What’s your best quote along these lines?

9 thoughts on “Thoughtful perspective on family matters”

  1. “If you want to keep a two-year-old busy for awhile, rub a dab of honey on their fingers and give them a pillow feather.” — my grandfather a long time ago

  2. An interviewer asks the husband of a very elderly couple celebrating an unusually long milestone anniversary (80 years?) “what is your secret of a long marriage”? After a considerable pause, the old guy says “bad hearing”.

  4. When a first child drops their [sic] pacifier on the floor, parents disinfect it by boiling. Second child – wash it. Third child drops a pacifier – maybe wipe it on a sleeve. Fourth an up – pick your own pacifier; or, let the family dog lick it clean.

  5. If you aren’t bald, fat, & career focused, all women will tell you to run off a long pier for your 1st 40 years until they hit menopause. Then you use the extended longevity of not being bald, fat & career focused to spend the next 60 years running off a long pier.

  6. From a user studies report on a software application update:

    “The test subject was unfamiliar with the new feature (even though it was implemented by her husband).”

  7. I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

    My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

    My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

    – R. Dangerfield

    I’m jealous of everyone not married to you.

    If you want to have sex, the kids have to leave,
    and if you want it to be good, you’ll have to leave.

    Envy me. That’s my wife.
    Those are my kids and I sell womens’ shoes.

    – Al Bundy

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