Happy Back to School!
A Brooklyn-dwelling friend with a 2-year-old sent me these preschool application questions, from three different schools:
Why are you interested in Brooklyn *** School for your child and what benefits do you[?] expect to gain from this educational experience?
Is there any other information you would like us to know in order to fully understand your child or family?
Please describe your child’s physical, cognitive, and social development.
How did you come to apply to Brooklyn *** School and how do you see our program meeting your family’s needs?
What are the qualities that you believe to be essential in a good education? How do these qualities encourage your child to engage in the learning process?
In your understanding of your child’s temperament and interests, briefly describe the school setting in which you feel your child would function most effectively. Is there anything about your child that you would like to see the teachers thinking about?
Describe your child’s social life (i.e. playdates, park, playground, family, etc.).
Please tell us what you are looking for in a school
He didn’t say to what extent the 2-year-old contributed to the essay answers…
I think the only sensible answer to those questions is something like, “Thank you for demonstrating why I should not give you my business.”
The only real question the school has:
“How much money is in your brokerage account, and how quickly can you transfer it to us?”
I also love the private school scam of “tuition is $X0,000 with an expected donation of $X,000” Translation: “We know the IRS will let you donate up to a certain amount without auditing us, so we’ll let you take that off your taxes.”
Off topic, your idea for a handheld computer looks like it has finally arrived:
https://qz.com/1059888/samsungs-newest-phones-could-legitimately-replace-your-desktop-computer/
The application’s purpose is not to help school staff deal with the students. Its to help them deal with the parents.
Two weeks ago I had to fill 15 repetitive forms from the town’s early childhood education center , and also had that strange question of: ”What would you like your child to gain from this early education experience?’ Then was instructed to go to the website of the town’s public school system to pay the tuition (as an alternative to coming there in person with a check). It took at least 30 min to find the payment link. Ended up sending an email to the secretary offering my services as a focus group parent participant to improve their website. Yet to hear back…