Conversation with a friend who immigrated to the U.S. to attend Harvard College:
- Me: Do you and [Betsy] want to go for a walk in the woods tomorrow morning with Mindy the Crippler?
- Him: I don’t know if she’s free.
- Me: Can you ask?
- Him: She’s working from home. I’m not allowed to go into her woman-hole.
- Me: Take it from a native English speaker… that is probably not the idiom you’re looking for.
(It later transpired that his native-speaker daughter, whose room is upstairs, referred to mom’s ground floor home office as a “woman cave” and this had been slightly altered in the dad’s mind.)
Separately, we came up with a strategy in case any of the righteous townsfolk scolded us for failure to social distance. The response: “I’m sorry if you don’t approve of our lifestyle. My husband and I are accustomed to homophobia, but I think his sister here would learn from a dialog. Shall we head down to the rainbow chairs at the First Parish Church and discuss your feelings about same-sex relationships?”
Related:
- “Harvard graduate discovers that the suburbs are packed with narrow-minded white heterosexuals” (lecture by the double victim who briefly held the pastor position at the church above)
If you don’t mind me asking, how did Mindy the Crippler get her name? I know Goldens can be very rambunctious when they see their owners, especially.
I wanted to name the puppy “Crippler” after Montgomery Burns’s pitbull on the Simpsons and because pitbull owners say that their “pets” are not aggressive by nature. It is only because of training that pitbulls seek to attack other dogs and, sometimes, humans. So my story would have been that I wanted a ferocious attack/guard dog and, because genetics did not influence behavior, would start with a female golden retriever and provide training.
Mine was not the only opinion within the household, however, and all disputes here are handled under a “One woman, One vote” system. Hence… “Mindy… the Crippler”