ConcessionGPT

Because political candidates should never plan for defeat, one good use case for ChatGPT is writing a concession speech quickly. I got it to write one on behalf of Kamala Harris:

My fellow Americans,

Tonight, I stand here bearing the weight of a moment that, for many, feels like a Nakba—a devastating turning point that shakes the foundation of all we have worked toward. This campaign was more than a contest; it was a fight for the soul of our nation, a fight for justice, equality, and the promise of true freedom. Although we have not prevailed, I am profoundly proud of every voice that stood up for what is right, every heart that leaned toward hope, and every community that came together in unity. To those in Miami who voted for Trump: if you didn’t vote for me, then you ain’t Latinx. This moment asks us to reflect on the divides we still have to bridge and the work that lies ahead.

To the many Americans who feel fear tonight, who worry that we’re stepping backward into a time when freedoms were more easily denied and voices more readily silenced, know that we will not surrender to despair. We must not forget that we face a man who stands convicted of 91 felonies, a figure unprecedented in American politics for his disregard of truth, justice, and the values that make democracy possible. This outcome is not a testament to his innocence, nor to his worthiness. We know that democracy is fragile, but it will not crumble so long as we stand up for it. We are not characters in The Handmaid’s Tale—we are citizens of a free nation, and that freedom is ours to defend. Our collective resolve will remain unwavering, and our determination to create a just America will not be extinguished.

To President Trump, I extend my congratulations on his victory, but let me be clear: this is a solemn moment, not a vindication. This nation deserves leaders who will serve with honesty and honor, who respect the rule of law and the principles of democracy. I urge every American to remain vigilant and to demand accountability. We face a difficult road, but together, we will press on, refusing to let this outcome define our future. Thank you, and may God bless America.

and one for Donald Trump:

Thank you. Thank you all for being here.

Tonight didn’t go the way we wanted. Believe me, nobody wanted this victory more than I did. But the American people have spoken, and while I may not agree with everything that’s happened in this election, I respect our country, I respect the system, and I respect the will of the people. I want to thank my incredible supporters—millions of you out there—who fought alongside me every single day. You are the heart and soul of this nation, and you will not be forgotten. We’ve created a movement that’s bigger than any one election, and we’ve shown the world that America is strong, proud, and free.

I want to congratulate Kamala Harris on her victory. I hope that she will do what’s right for our country. She has a big responsibility on her shoulders, and I know a lot of you out there—hard-working Americans who love this country, who put faith, family, and freedom first—will be watching. You will be holding her accountable, and so will I. We’ve seen what’s possible when we put America first, and I hope this new administration remembers that and doesn’t let you down.

To all my supporters, this is not the end. This movement, this America First agenda—it’s bigger than any one election, bigger than any one president. We’re going to keep fighting for the values that make this country great. We’re going to keep making our voices heard, louder than ever. Thank you, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America.

Concession speeches were shorter in the days before broadcast media. Teddy Roosevelt via telegram to Woodrow Wilson in 1912, for example:

The American people by a great plurality have conferred upon you the highest honor in their gift. I congratulate you thereon.

And with that, I concede it is time to go to bed and wait until tomorrow morning to learn about all of the ballots that have been discovered falling off of mail trucks in swing states…