Family law (divorce, custody, child support) summer media round-up
Barbara Whitehead’s The Divorce Culture (1996), quoted in “A Brief History of Divorce in America”:
Before the mid-1960s, divorce was viewed as a legal, family, and social event with multiple stakeholders; after that time, divorce became an individual event defined by and responsive to the interests of the individual. … divorce moves from the domain of the society and the family into the inner world of the self.
Let’s take a look at some articles readers have sent in this season and compare them against the above-noted trend.
“11 Questions to Ask Before Getting a Divorce” (nytimes). The word “children” appears twice in the article, published by a newspaper in a winner-take-all jurisdiction (see the New York chapter), and once it is in the sentence “If there are children, who will take the lead in keeping track of their activities calendar?” (not, “How will they go to college if 100 percent of the family’s savings are spent on divorce litigation?”). The paper tells adult readers that the important stuff is adult happiness and emotions: “Do you still love him or her?”; “Would you really be happier without your partner?”; “What is your biggest fear in ending the relationship?”; “Are you letting the prospect of divorce ruin your self-image?” There seems to be no question that if one adult can become happier or better off, a unilateral (initiated by one partner against the other partner’s wishes) divorce is a good idea. Part of the “better off” calculation is financial and the Times wisely advises people considering suing for divorce to meet with financial advisors and litigators, with the implication that it might make sense to stay married if divorce isn’t sufficiently lucrative.
The cash aspects of family law are buried pretty deep in the Times article. Perhaps New Yorkers aren’t mindful of the cash implications? “Hamptons bachelors are getting vasectomies so golddiggers can’t trap them” (New York Post) suggests that perhaps at least some are (maybe the Post and the Times are actually in two different cities that share a name?). Some excerpts:
“There’s a spike in single guys” who get the procedure in spring and early summer, said Dr. David Shusterman, a urologist in Midtown.
“They don’t want to be in the situation of being accused of fathering an unwanted baby,” said Dr. Joseph Alukal, a urologist at NYU. “That’s their fear — being told you’re paying for this kid until it’s [an adult].”
“This extortion happens all the time. Women come after them. [They get pregnant and] want a ransom payment,” said Shusterman. “Some guys do an analysis of the cost — for three days of discomfort [after a vasectomy], it’s worth millions of dollars to them.
“It’s not that they don’t want kids [someday],” he said. “They don’t want kids on other people’s terms.”
Manhattan matrimonial attorney Ira Garr said of such unplanned, paternity cases: “I deal with this every year. There’s potential to [have to] pay out a lot of money.”
Child support is 17 percent of the father’s salary up to $400,000, after which the amount is at a judge’s discretion, according to Garr. For someone who makes $1 million a year, Garr estimates annual payments of $100,000 — a total of $2.1 million until the child turns 21. Meanwhile, a vasectomy is typically covered by insurance or costs $1,000 out of pocket. [see also Burning Man: Attitudes toward marriage and children for a quote from a man who considers the internal rate of return on a vasectomy]
Here’s a detail I’m pretty sure that the New York Times won’t be covering…
She offered to dispose of the used condom, but when she was in the bathroom for a while, John got suspicious. He found the woman seated on the toilet and inserting his semen inside of her.
[One thing I learned on my most recent trip across the Atlantic: the above situation is covered in an annual lecture to schoolboys at an elite English “public school”, complete with references to caselaw in which an appeals court held that a plaintiff’s entitlement to child support was not impaired by her use of “a syringe”. (See also the Boris Becker case in our chapter on England, et al.)]
This obituary of a divorce lawsuit defendant (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) is a dog-bites-man story (see the “Children, Mothers, and Fathers” chapter for some statistics on the correlation between being an American divorce lawsuit defendant and committing suicide). Nonetheless it is interesting that a mainstream U.S. newspaper would publish it. Excerpts (daughter’s name elided for privacy):
The cardiologist, researcher and educator at UPMC devoted his life to curing disease, doting on his children and making life better for those less fortunate. … After spending the first half of his life in a communist country, Dr. Nemec built what most would consider a successful life, admired by his colleagues and patients and an expert in complicated heart procedures.
But, even in the face of this happy and accomplished existence, Dr. Nemec refused to submit to what he saw as oppression and took his own life at his Swissvale home on May 8. He was 54.
Dr. Nemec’s daughter, …, 25, a psychologist from Sydney, Australia, said her father wasn’t depressed, but chose to end his life rather than pay nearly half of his annual income for spousal support as he was ordered to do in a recent divorce order.
What courts in Minnesota — where her mother filed for divorce four years ago — saw as fairness, he saw as injustice that he could not tolerate, said [the daughter], who received an email from her father on the day after he died, detailing his heartbreaking decision.
“He was always very, very anti-communist. This was definitely about his moral principles,” [the daughter] said. “He thought this was a poorly designed system and just didn’t want to be a part of it and would rather give the money to a worthy cause.”
[Illustrating the critical importance of venue, note that Dr. Nemec’s plaintiff wouldn’t have suffered any financial hardship from her defendant’s suicide had she lived in Massachusetts. The family courts there would have ordered the cardiologist to purchase life insurance with his plaintiff as the beneficiary. She actually would have been better off as a result of his death because she would have gotten all of her alimony entitlement in one lump sum. Note further that Dr. Nemec would have been better off (and perhaps still married) if he had stayed in almost any European country (not the U.K., though) due to the fact that the financial incentives for divorce plaintiffs are comparatively limited there. If he had been determined to emigrate to the U.S., he would probably still be alive if he’d read Real World Divorce and settled in a state that disfavors alimony (e.g., Alaska) or simply doesn’t offer it (Indiana).]
Meanwhile, in Italy the courts have essentially done away with alimony (Business Standard; see also The Local), bringing that country into line with where Germany went in 2009 (with child support limited to less than $6,000 per year, the only way to make a profit from marriage in Germany is to stay married).
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