American moms supervising online dating for young foreign women

A friend is in a Facebook group for au pair host mothers (“HM”). She told me that one of the things that they do is attempt to supervise the sex lives of the au pairs, who are nominally adults (18-26 years old). How do the host mothers have time to do this? “About 90 percent of them don’t work, but they have au pairs so that they don’t have to do anything at home either.”

Here are some excerpts from one thread:

So I’m *that* HM who is trying to help my AP1 start online dating. [emoticons] Another AP in our cluster told her about Tinder–she showed me she installed it on her phone. [more emoticons] … does Tinder give our exact location? Is it dangerous? Young/hip HMs, any advice about better options?

Neither young nor hip, but agree that my single friends/coworkers prefer Bumble. Way less sketchy.

[response about how good Bumble is for same-sex dating]

Does anyone know if Tinder actually gives out a location or just says “in the area”?

[from a current plaintiff/future cougar] Once my divorce finalizes in the next 3-6 months, I’m happy to be a guinea pig and turn over my written analysis. If I’m not killed. By Tinder that is… Joking. [smiley Emoticon]

So our one Au pair for sure would meet for random hookups but never talked about it and I never asked. … her friend who isn’t a good friend was gabbing to me about her “adventures”. … It’s really pretty common for people who like to hook up…which is a good deal of the population apparently.

We had 2.5 rematches due to boyfriend craziness. AP1 had the breakup meltdown. AP5 had the longdistance meltdown, and AP6’s lifegoal was to find a husband and get married within the first 11 months (and she did!).

One site that I DO have an issue with is I’d never heard of it before I found out that my AP was using it. [Facebook helpfully supplies a “Sugar Daddy Dating” headline and photo underneath.]


So gross


5 thoughts on “American moms supervising online dating for young foreign women

  1. Au pairs are forbidden to get married, during their terms of service. Some do anyway. The agencies try to screen out those applicants who are just hunting for an American husband.

  2. (It seems that they can marry, but lose the au pair visa status when they do so and therefore can no longer be au pairs. They’re still legally in the U.S., however.)

  3. Ironic that moms spend money earned by men they f*cked and don’t like seekingarrangement. More about #FightTheYoungCompetition?

  4. Yes, foreigners can stay in the USA by marrying an American. There is a whole industry of sham marriages for immigration fraud.

    Au pairs have lots of rules. They can’t work extra hours or earn extra money. They must take some college-credit classes, like community college classes. They have to maintain the sponsorship of the agency and host family. As a practical matter, the only punishment is that they might get sent home. With a new American spouse, as you say, they don’t even get sent home.

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