Could a man have shared this on Facebook and kept his job?

by philg

A big law firm partner shared the following (friends-only) on Facebook:

I have something to say to all the young girls out there.

Love yourself. Appreciate your body. Tell yourself that you are beautiful every day.

Are you listening?

It’s important.

I’m telling you this because you don’t realize you are going to get so, SO much fatter over the next 20 years. Oh my god. So fat.

This litigator identifies as a woman (I’ve worked for her as an expert witness and her version of femininity is not a meek one!). What if a high-performance professional identifying as a man shared the above? Would that be a career-killer?

Separately, I hope that this discussion encourages everyone to eat candy in moderation. Happy Halloween!

12 thoughts on “Could a man have shared this on Facebook and kept his job?”

  1. As a man I am fatter than I was 20 years ago. I don’t see any reason why this would be different if the genders were reversed.

  2. Why is it assumed they will get fat? Staying active and eating well could go a long way to preventing that. I know a lot of women in their 50s and early 60s who haven’t gotten very fat at all.

    Doesn’t show a lot of faith in the young girls being addressed.

  3. If a guy wrote the same thing addressed to boys there would be no objection. It’s hard to see what’ interesting about this.

    • It’s just a straightforward case of “only *I* can beat up my brother”: genderA speaking critically and generally about genderB triggers genderB’s group-tribal “under attack” mechanisms. This is true regardless of which gender is A and which is B. So it “sounds” like an insult only when crossing groups. Imagine if you swapped “young girls” with “young people” and had it coming from men or women – it barely registers even though it’s a more sweeping statement.

      Culturally, we currently react much, much more energetically to the case when men are genderA than when women are, which is obviously Phil’s point, and yet his argument doesn’t apply because the original piece isn’t cross-gender.

    • What you’re describing has been understood for at least half a century. Take ethnic jokes. It’s generally considered OK for a person to make a joke about a group that he or she is a member of. This is because it’s assumed that there’s no animosity involved, no attempt to insult, offend, or denigrate the group. In other words, no one’s beating anybody up. That’s why I wrote that it’s uninteresting.

      Also, you’re mistaken about Phil making a point. He’s just posing a question.

  4. All young girls need to be told that (1) they will always be judged on their looks, and (2) they will reach peak attractiveness in age 20-25, and go downhill after that.

    No, it is not the same for boys.

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