New name ideas for the Redskins? How about Washington Vampires?

by philg

The Washington Redskins will soon be renamed. As with the Land O’Lakes redesign, white people are getting rid of the Indian and keeping the land (stadium/revenue).

Old:

New:

What is a good name for a football team in a city whose main industry is tax-and-spend? How about “Washington Vampires”? “Washington Parasites”? “Washington Mosquitoes” (since there are now hundreds of different taxes, many of them individually small)?

Native Americans continue to be replaced in North America with immigrants, but lately most of the immigrants have been Hispanic. If we want to celebrate a group of people, but update that for who is actually living in North America, how about the “Washington Latinx”?

And, before it disappears into a memory hole, the old team logo:

Image

Readers: What are your best ideas?

17 thoughts on “New name ideas for the Redskins? How about Washington Vampires?”

    • Dave: Predicted six years in advance! Awesome!

      (To distinguish from Canadians and Mexicans, how about the “Washington Ugly Americans”?)

    • @David, that won’t work.

      Washington is after the name of George Washington who was a slave owner and Americans is hated by ISIS, Jihadist and so many other people around the world (but yet somehow many still want to come here). So “Washington Americans” will insult far more people then the few Indians we still have on this land.

      @Phil, you cannot use “Ugly”. That will fly against educators and parents because it is a negative and demoralizing word that will hurt peoples feeling to the point of causing deeply depressed.

  4. Washington Weasels (in honor of the district’s politicians and lobbyists).

  6. Suggested elsewhere: Washington Senators
    Name has some history and DC statehood has kind of been in the news. “The Washington Senators baseball team was one of the American League’s eight charter franchises.”

  7. Noticed the Land of Lakes change but didn’t connect it with wrong think. They are canceling innocent Native Americans. Oh well all history has to go so it can always be year zero of the great new society. These people need to storm Fort Ticonderoga next.

  8. “What is a good name for a football team in a city whose main industry is tax-and-spend?”
    Needs to be a terrifying animal (lions, bears,etc) so the DC Vultures?
    or
    Lawyers –> DC Sharks
    Swamp –> DC Crocs
    Lobbyists –> DC Grease
    Congress –> DC Partisans
    Congress–> DC Blockers (Capacitors?)
    I think that’s enough from me.

  10. Washington Apparatchiks
    Washington Plunderers
    Washington Thieves (or: Embezzlers, Larcenists)
    Washington Highwaymen
    Washington Revolutionaries
    Washington Invaders
    Washington Ghouls
    Washington Liars
    Washington Cronies
    Washington Swamp Rats
    Washington Alligators
    Washington Bolsheviks
    Washington Incompetents
    Washington Dissemblers
    Washington Droners
    Washington Stoners
    Washington Evil Clowns
    Washington Heedless
    Washington Statists
    Washington Banana Republicans
    Washington Pussywillows

    I know most of these don’t have a chance.

  11. Washington Know Nothings
    Washington Tax-and-Spenders
    Washington Blow Hards

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