Fanny pack sales will get a boost from coronapanic?

Americans have spent months at home, lounging in sweats and stretchy shorts while watching television and/or playing with their phones. Our heroes get off the sofa only for periodic dives into the fridge for waist-expanding calories.

Will we be able to tolerate the discomfort of ordinary pants and belts ever again? If not, how will we carry wallets, keys, and phones? Running pants aren’t adapted for this application. Enter… the fanny pack!

Readers: Will there be a fanny pack (or “waist pack”) boom as soon as we have some need to leave our houses?


6 thoughts on “Fanny pack sales will get a boost from coronapanic?

  1. I’ve been hoping for the fanny pack come back for years! Super underrated functional way of hands-free carrying more stuff than a wallet/pockets without needing a full backpack, undermined by some sort of reputation for it being too uncool. Luckily I’m in my dgaf years :)!

  2. If Anthony Fauci or Naomi Campbell starts wearing one, they’ll be bigger than face masks, and more lucrative to Chinese manufacturers. They can take a little cut off the top and Fauci will be able to retire in grand style.

    Don’t believe me? Just ask Rocket Distributors, who run a brisk business in PPE with their Masks2People venture, which helps Chinese manufacturers sell their face masks to the general public.

    It’s “Authentic PPE – Ready to ship.” All made in China and shipped with no middlemen through a distributor/front company in the great state of Texas (Rocket Distributors – Red Rockets from Red China!)

  3. Any proper history of the fanny pack mustn’t neglect Ötzi the Iceman from 5000 years ago, and looking every bit like it. And at least according to Wikipedia, we’re also guilty of ripping off the American Indian for profit yet again:

    “Historically, the bag was positioned in front of the body, so people could protect themselves from bandits. Bags attached to belts have been in use since antiquity in many cultures. One origin was the Native American buffalo pouch which was used instead of sewing pockets into clothing.” They were “medicine pouches.”

    More to your question: fanny packs are great for people who really need to carry something and keep their hands free, while not straining their backs or impacting their mobility. My first exposure to them came during my misspent youth riding off-road motorcycles. Lots of guys and a few gals who rode enduro-type bikes had fanny packs and/or tool rolls to carry various essentials they might need on the trail: energy bars (Snickers), wrenches, first aid materials, map and a compass, electrical tape, screwdrivers, wrenches, radiator stop leak, safety wire, wrenches, chain master links, spare nuts and bolts, rubber bands, wrenches, etc., etc. They’re still popular with that crowd, as well as the pedal people riding mountain bikes. And the off-road motorcycle types like the hydration systems, too. They actually need them, riding around on a big thumper in the woods, sometimes in hot weather, decked out in their gear.

    So I definitely advise buying a fanny pack and an enduro/dual sport or adventure bike to go with it. You’ll definitely get out of the house and you’ll enjoy the freedom.

  4. “So I definitely advise buying a fanny pack and an enduro/dual sport or adventure bike to go with it. You’ll definitely get out of the house and you’ll enjoy the freedom.”

    Yes, I delivered papers mowed lawns, and pumped gas so I could save enough money to buy a brand new $700 1976 Yamaha DT 125 when I was 13 y/o. Rode it right out my parents back door all over the woods and trails of southern NH and into Maine. Five years later, I traded the Yamaha for a nearly new Schwinn Continental 10-speed and $300. I still have and ride the Schwinn.

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