Merry Christmas from the iPhone 12 Pro Max

A challenging high-contrast night scene for the iPhone 12 Pro Max:

I hope that you all appreciate our Christmas lights…. Merry Christmas!

(Okay, perhaps I have falsely taken credit for this neighbor’s epic display.)

As long as we’re celebrating Jesus’s birthday, a story about his father/mother/other….

Rudy Giuliani and Victoria Toensing are leaving the courtroom after arguing on behalf of Donald Trump and they get hit by a taxpayer-funded empty city bus.

God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.

“Yes, we do,” says Giuliani. Toensing steps forward and asks “What would the result of the 2020 election have been without the Democrats’ fraud?”

God replies, “It was an unusual year, with all of the unsolicited mail-in ballots encouraging my lazy young children to vote for the first time. But the 18-year-olds actually did vote for a bigger government and for Presidents Biden and Harris. Remember that it will be years before most of them get jobs and start paying taxes, so it makes sense for them to vote for more handouts. Removing the fraudulent ballots wouldn’t have changed the result. Biden won by a narrow margin.”

Rudy Giuliani and Victoria Toensing are stunned. After a moment of silence, Giuliani turns to Toensing and whispers, “This goes higher up than we thought.”

7 thoughts on “Merry Christmas from the iPhone 12 Pro Max

  1. Merry Christmas. That phone takes pictures a lot better than any phone has a right to. It even managed to preserve the glow falling on the house next door, and it only blew out the very brightest of the foreground lights. I assume to you took them handheld of course.

    When you started working with did you think the cellphone cameras would get this good, this fast?

    In other Christmas news, millions of Britons may be locked at home in Tier 4 for Christmas, but at last after 4+ years, they finally got Brexit. 599 pages of Yuletide cheer! What a read! You need to pray that someone in the family is an international trade and labor law expert with a double major in economics from Oxford to understand the modern Christmas message, which in its largest overview is: “Whether it’s in Brussels or London, the government controls everything. Every last little bit of it. In ways you will never fully comprehend unless you have multiple advanced degrees. Merry Christmas!”

  2. Merry Christmas Phil! As the great Obama once said if you like your Christmas you can keep your Christmas. (leaders in California do not agree)

  3. That house always looks tiny in context with the decorations. Not sure if the decorations are just huge or if the the beloved colonial was really a tiny house made to look big with multiple windows.

  4. @lion2: It’s quite a bit of lawn decoration, but the house is an authentic New England Colonial-style home, of the Bob Vila “This Old House” variety, not the postmodern American McMansion which requires a 2,500 square foot living room with 16 foot ceilings and a garage built for a Hummer, a Porsche, a Range Rover and the weekend track car, the two motorcycles and the snowmobiles. You can just barely make out the chimney in one of the photos, for the almost-centrally located fireplace. In fact, I wonder if the rooms on the left side are an addition, added some time after the main house was constructed.

    It has newer siding, gutters, etc., and is well-kept, but the shape and location of the chimney makes me think the house itself may be quite old. This is, after all, the Lexington/Concord area of Massachusetts. Land of the Minute Men.

    For comparison, here’s another home on Pleasant St. in Lexington, even more modest. Although I think this one is actually newer construction. No fireplace!

    I may be wrong about the house’s age, but at one time, except recently, most middle-class Americans would have thought that was a pretty big house.

    • @Alex Thanks for your impressive powers of observation and analysis. I hope your big-picture analysis of the future is wrong, but in any case, may your WTL be as strong as SAS toughs. This country needs folks like you.

    • @Bill: Well, it wasn’t that good but I appreciate the thought. The Sotheby’s link says the house in Lexington does, in fact, have a fireplace. I didn’t think the vestigial chimney was good enough, but they say it does. It could be that the subject here is a “replica Colonial” too, but it definitely has a fireplace that’s more centrally-located.

      Just for fun, and because of your comment, I dragged Philg’s photo into Photoshop and dramatically adjusted the Levels. In this version, the exposure is horrible but you can more accurately gauge the true size of the house, and what I refer to as the “addition.” It’s quite deep, and this perspective shows the overall size of the home a little better.


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