Joe Biden is fixing most of what ails us via executive order. Could he turn his attention to a thorn in America’s side that surrounds him: The District of Columbia? There is nothing good to say about Christopher Columbus. He #DeniedScience (regarding the circumference of Earth). He was cruel to both Europeans and Native Americans.
If not after Columbus, after whom should we name the city of bureaucrats, cronies, contractors, and lobbyists? We have a list of the 100 Greatest Americans, according to University of Washington circa 2009. Drawing from this and with an eye toward minimizing reprinting, the city could be
- District of (Noam) Chomsky
- District of (Hillary) Clinton [Bill Clinton does not make the list]
- District of (Cesar) Chavez [not to be confused with the most successful politician of modern times, Hugo Chavez]
- District of (Rachel) Carson
- District of (Samuel/Mark Twain) Clemens
(Racist Woodrow Wilson, subject of a recent renaming at Princeton, is on the list!)
“District of Sacagawea” would make the most sense to me because I am a huge fan of this talented diplomat who traveled with an infant, but she is not on the list (sexism?). My choice therefore is to fall back on District of Crazy Horse.
A mid-1990s photo of a D.C. memorial to a slaveholder (this one should be renamed too!):
Related:
- “Tahoe ski resort considers changing its racist, sexist name” (SFGate): The term squaw is considered an ethnic and racist slur. The American Indian Movement notes that in the Algonquin languages the word means vagina, and is a synonym for “prostitute, harlot, hussy, and floozy.”
Clemens is right out. He used the common language of the 19th century in his novels, which automatically makes him a far-right istophobe.
DC should be retrocessed into Maryland (or maybe Virginia!) as everyone knows. It would be 700,000 population into a state of 6 million, an added administrative burden to be sure, but not that much considering how good Maryland is at collecting taxes and monies from the federal government.
If anyone really wanted, they could rename the city fairly easily without much extra administrative burden. The alternatives are all stupid.
And I don’t mean you’re stupid, you’re having fun with it, but if anyone wants to solve the DC representation problem the answer is easy, and it’s by far the best thing to do for all taxpayers and other citizens concerned. Maryland could absorb DC tomorrow, add a few hundred employees, do some redistricting, maybe add a Rep or two, and it’s even possible the place would be run better.