#Science says masks are the best thing that ever happened to children

Parking a warm saliva-soaked mask in front of a child’s mouth all day isn’t the most obvious way to protect children from exposure to bacteria and viruses. And “Experimental Assessment of Carbon Dioxide Content in Inhaled Air With or Without Face Masks in Healthy Children” (JAMA Pediatrics, June) heretically suggested that children might be better off with an unobstructed airway.

All is right with the world once more, however. The paper has been retracted by the editors. The only question is why humanity didn’t discover the healing power of full-time mask-wearing centuries ago.

Loosely related:

7 thoughts on “#Science says masks are the best thing that ever happened to children

  1. There was a poll taken in the UK recently which showed I think it was that about 20% of the population supported permanent masking — the theory being, I suppose, if masks don’t work then why am I still alive? My own view is that the sign of the cross would be more effective — at least there there is well documented evidence of its efficaciousness against werewolves and vampires.

  2. I’ve been in kind of a musical “dry spell” for the past 14 months, for a bunch of reasons, but today I fired up one of my synthesizers (which I kind of play, kind of well) and I’ve been inspired. I want to start an Electronica/Punk Rock Band:

    Mask Authority Overlords (MAO)

    First “album” ​is going to be:

    “N95 Napalm”

    Tracks are open for suggestion here, I have a couple to get us started:

    “Jesus Ghebreyesus”
    “Strangle Yourself”
    “Fauci Fuckathon”

  3. You have to give it to #ScienceSaveUs and #GovernmentSaveUs though. As far as I know, never in the history of mankind has there been this much “peaceful” control and takeover of society by a government where a good percentage of the public bows-in.

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