Andrew Cuomo as the modern Boethius

Fortuna’s wheel has spun downward for Andrew Cuomo. Who could have predicted this? Anicius Manlius Severinus Boethius, for one.

From Wikipedia:

In 522, the same year his two sons were appointed joint consuls, Boethius accepted the appointment to the position of magister officiorum, the head of all the government and court services. … In 523 Boethius fell from power. After a period of imprisonment in Pavia for what was deemed a treasonable offence, he was executed in 524.

He went from being the most powerful official in the world’s most powerful empire to being imprisoned, in other words. While in prison, Boethius wrote The Consolation of Philosophy. a book that was required reading for scholars until the Age of Enlightenment began in the 17th century. More than 1,000 years of being a touchstone for every educated person in Europe, in other words.

Here’s a question… what important intellectual work could Andrew Cuomo write during his corresponding period of being on the wrong side of the Rota Fortunae? What would it be titled and what would it be about?

My vote is a work that shows that the 7 elements of the modern catechism are not in conflict. Here they are on a Sign of Justice:

Black Americans are the biggest losers from low-skill immigration (NBER), so “Black Lives Matter” and “No Human is Illegal” are in apparent contradiction. “Love is Love” refers to the full slate of LGBTQIA+ and therefore the next line, “Women’s Rights are Human Rights” doesn’t make sense because the term “Women” is no longer precisely defined. “Science is Real” is the kind of thing that Plato would have liked to consider. Is #Science real like a table is real? Or is #Science more real than a table because #Science is already an ideal form whereas the table is merely an attempted (imperfect) implementation of a real table form? “Water is Life” is confusing without reference to the other elements of belief. Is distilled and UV-sterilized water life? Is it “injustice” when Harvard discriminates against Asians? If so, why doesn’t that threaten justice anywhere, much less everywhere?

I’m not sure what this work would be called.


10 thoughts on “Andrew Cuomo as the modern Boethius

  1. A child asked me to explain one of these signs in our neighborhood. It is either a parody, or meaningless virtue signalling. I considered putting up a sign that was more obviously a parody, but I couldn’t figure out how to do it.

  2. “Trump vs. Justice.” As in the original, the book will be structured as a conversation between Cuomo and Justice, who will be personified as a bisexual Black woman. He will discuss Trump’s assault on Justice with her, and Justice will explain how righteous principles will ultimately prevail.

    • My first thought was “The Consolation of Justice,” but putting Trump in the title would at least double the sales.

  3. Inducing Brain Cancer Through the Selective Application of Electromagnetic Energy in Early 21st Century America: Case Studies

  4. Water is Life is a feather-Indian thing from the Dakota pipeline protests. They needed a token Indian thing for the lawn sign, I guess.

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