“I Still Believe in the Power of Sexual Freedom” (New York Times, August 16):
At the tail end of 2016, I ended an eight-year relationship about six years too late. Our marriage was modern and progressive by most standards: We experimented with nonmonogamy; my partner did more laundry than I did. And yet I found myself unable to admit a simple fact: Our sex, it turned out, was bad.
Women’s right to sexual satisfaction is taken as much more of a given
How did I find myself in a marriage filled with bad sex? I was as equipped as anyone could be to seek out real erotic freedom, and yet I still spent my high school and college years feeling uncertain about how to do so. I idolized Samantha from “Sex and the City,” and I also wished my sex was more meaningful. I wanted sex to be meaningful, but I was also turned off by the whole heterosexual dance in which women demand commitment in exchange for sex and men acquiesce. I was turned off by the dance, and yet I clung to the cultural validation offered to married heterosexual couples, staying way too long at the expense of my own happiness.
When I left my marriage … to pursue my true desires, …
I do believe that reaching for more sexual freedom, not less — the freedom to have whatever kind of sex we want, including, yes, casual sex and choking sex and porny sex — is still the only way we can hope to solve the problems of our current sexual landscape.
(NYT: To be “modern and progressive”, a marriage requires that any man involved do most of the laundry while the woman is out having sex with her friends and this arrangement continues until the woman files her divorce lawsuit.)
Wikipedia says that the author, Nona Willis Aronowitz, is 38 years old. In other words, a grandmother for all but a handful of the 300,000 years of human history. And the NYT has enlisted this grandmother-age individual to write about casual sex.
This is not to say that I think there should be an age limit for Tinder and Grindr users. I’m merely surprised that there is a mass market of people who want to read about the sexual exploits of humans who are best suited, biologically, to be grandparents.
Very loosely related… the local Walmart and Hershey’s invite us to celebrate anyone who shows up using “she” as a pronoun. This would, presumably, include elderly Tinder users.
Related:
- Christmas Cake, a Japanese term for “A woman 26 years+ who is considered to be past her prime, undesirable, used goods and/or no good.”
A note to readers. Type “Nona Willis Aronowitz” into google image search and you will see how delusional this fat ugly woman really is. She says she wants “choking sex”. The only way I would choke her is to shut her up. As the great Donald Trump always says…. Grab em by the pussy!
https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/obamacare-restrictions-lead-brooklyn-couple-to-consider-divorce/
If she only had listened to what Obama really told her, she could have had a chance at 29!
I concur… she is unfuckable. And a man needs to be a total idiot to even consider any kind of kinky sex with a liberal/feminist woman. The risk of ending up with domestic abuse conviction if she decided next morning that it wadn’t as fun as she thought it would be is too high.
Perhaps she’ll find that the sex is better with men who don’t do laundry.
Other than that, this seems like the standard 2000s woman-is-complaining-for-female-subscribers article, including the Sex and the City” reference.
This seems like a step up from the “modern” versions that celebrate 2SLBGTQQIA+!
Anon: The Sex and the City author got married at age 44, so maybe there is hope! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candace_Bushnell
From 2002 to 2012, Bushnell was married to Charles Askegard, a principal dancer with the New York City Ballet who was ten years her junior, and whom she had met eight weeks before. They decided to divorce in 2011. She found the experience disorienting, telling The Guardian, “When I got divorced, I couldn’t get a mortgage; I didn’t fit into a computer model. All of a sudden, I was invited to no more couple things. Being single is hard and there’s something a bit heroic about it.
[i.e., she was a bride at 44 (grandmother age) and back on Tinder at age 54 (biological great-grandmother age).]
The Onion was once really great.
Here’s the link at The Onion.
https://www.theonion.com/country-music-stars-challenge-al-qaeda-with-patriotic-n-1819594646
These days the satire site par excellence is Babylon Bee. Though they have stiff competition from the reality.
@Anon: I read their first issue and I know who they are – I’m way ahead of you. I have to say I’m a little nostalgic for The People’s Cube but they were a little more high-concept satire and it helps if you were actually once Indoctrinated. They’ve always had a real former Soviet propaganda artist doing their graphics. I’ve got one of their Cubes and it’s very easy to solve. You just look at it! You can even throw it at someone and solve it!
Nevertheless, I think people should help restore them to their former glory through small donations, Comrade! They’re awesome.
https://thepeoplescube.com/mother
Babylon Bee tries a little too hard sometimes; good political satire doesn’t come naturally to most Conservatives – it takes a special breed.
https://thepeoplescube.com/mother
Al3x – thank you for the pointer!
@averros Thanks. What’s amazing to me is that we no long need the threat of nuclear destruction at the hands of some crazy Communist in Russia to wreck our country and push us into recession. All we need now is the CDC. As far as the average American is concerned, a middle-to-working class person trying to make their way on the bottom-of-the-barrel scrapings of our new economy (which was also done deliberately), I think they should just drink vodka and go on welfare!
Ms. Arononwitz: “I idolized Samantha from ‘Sex and the City'”
Sex and the City ran from 1998 – 2004, while Ms. Aronowitz was ranged from 12 to 18 y/o.
LOL… watching Sex and the City by teenage girls qualifies as abuse, and certainly sets the girls up for the lifetime of frustration and failed relationships.
Still weird that today’s grandmas all listened to Nirvana. If rich & powerful men can have multiple partners, the women should to, but it’s going to mean making the 1st move.
“I also wished my sex was more meaningful. I wanted sex to be meaningful, but I was also turned off by the whole heterosexual dance…”
“yes, casual sex and choking sex and porny sex”
Someone tried turning a whore into a housewife and it didn’t work out? My grandma wouldn’t be surprised.
“I ended an eight-year relationship about six years too late.” I wonder how Arononwitz’s ex-husband feels about this article in the NYT.
Who cares how what that crazy fool thinks? That sucka’ asked for it and he got it, Toyota! I pity the fool who imagine what the NYT or Aronowitz care about what the ex-fool thinks!
Another recent essay on casual sex, from a 43-year-old woman. I Regret Being A Slut