No, Polygamy Isn’t the Next Gay Marriage (2015)

by philg

An expert analysis from 2015… “No, Polygamy Isn’t the Next Gay Marriage” (Politico):

I am a gay marriage advocate. So why do I spend so much of my time arguing about polygamy? Opposing the legalization of plural marriage should not be my burden, because gay marriage and polygamy are opposites, not equivalents. By allowing high-status men to hoard wives at the expense of lower-status men, polygamy withdraws the opportunity to marry from people who now have it; same-sex marriage, by contrast, extends the opportunity to marry to people who now lack it. One of these things, as they say on Sesame Street, is not like the other.

Yet this non sequitur just won’t go away: “Once we stop limiting marriage to male-plus-female, we’ll have to stop limiting it at all! Why only two? Why not three or four? Why not marriage to your brother? Or your dog? Or a toaster?” If there’s a bloody shirt to wave in the gay-marriage debate, this is it.

The shortest answer is in some ways the best: Please stop changing the subject! … If I sound exasperated, it’s because the polygamy argument doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.

Certainly it was absurd in 2015 for anyone to suggest that normalizing 2SLGBTQQIA+ couples would somehow lead to the normalization of larger groups of sex partners. Let’s check in with the nominally conservative Wall Street Journal, January 9, 2023… “How Instagram’s Favorite Therapist Makes Her Throuple Relationship Work”:

Dr. LePera, 40, a psychologist and bestselling self-help author who explores trauma and recovery issues with her 6 million Instagram followers, announced in 2021 that she and her wife had entered a romantic relationship with a third woman. … The therapist, who lives with her partners in Scottsdale, Ariz. …

Part of the gift of having two partners is allowing each partner to be themselves, not feeling like I need to force them into a box to fit this idea of a partner. I can express different parts of myself in each relationship. If we all allow each person to be as they are, to self-express in their unique ways, we can really expand ourselves.

We have a humongous bed. There are one or two companies that manufacture large-type beds. It’s almost like a double king. It’s very obnoxious.

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16 thoughts on “No, Polygamy Isn’t the Next Gay Marriage (2015)”

  1. Maybe, just maybe, the government should not be in the business of defining interpersonal relationships in the first place. Rather than expanding the definition of marriage, how about abolishing it’s legal status all together?

    Divorce is a mess because almost no one understands the ramifications of getting married. Make marriage an explicit civil contract that people agree to.

    • You raise a good point. Two guys want to live together and have sex periodically and the government must bless their potentially temporary union. If three guys want to do this, however, city hall says they have no forms to cover the arrangement. It does not make logical sense.

    • Here in FL, if John and Bill are together for 7 years the state offers Bill the opportunity to sue John for “permanent alimony”. But if John, Bill, and Fred form a 7-year throuple, Bill cannot sue anyone for a lifetime paycheck.

  2. Sadly no photos of that triple lesbian at work. Seems to be a trend with millennials where they all started out straight & if it didn’t work out by 30, they became lesbians.

    • Miss Argentina and Miss Puerto Rico got married. Best looking lesbian couple ever.

  3. For families blessed with golden retrievers, I think it would be great to have an “Ace Size” bed (108″ wide instead of 76″ wide for a King). The golden can then enjoy the space that she deserves and not have her precious sleep disturbed by humans getting in/out of bed, tossing and turning, etc.

    This page has a guide to how mattresses fit together for throuples, dog owners, etc.: https://www.custombedsandheadboards.com/extra-large-beds

    The 108″x80″ bed is two “Full XL” mattresses. Amazon sells these for as little as $160. Comfortable 3-way sleeping does not have to be expensive, apparently.

    I think it might be interesting to get Twin XL plus Queen = 99″x80″. Those are standard sheet sizes. The only custom items required would therefore be the frame and the top sheet/blanket. You could use standard box springs, mattresses, mattress toppers (if desired), mattress covers, fitted sheets. Then add a system of steps for the senior retriever to get up and down.

    • I’m a tall guy, so I ended up using California King as my standard bed size. I also have a slim girlfriend and five cats of different ages. Guess who takes most space on that large bed:)

    • Nah, I’m actually mildly allergic to cat fur. Cats are a side effect of having girls around, and I like girls more than I hate cleaning litter box:) A propos… a three-legged cat has no trouble whatsoever getting on the bed.

      Actually, my collection includes two more cats in a different state, but these are outdoor former ferals who decided to domesticate themselves, and I usually ask my friends who come to stay there to feed them, or pay to the housekeeper to come daily.

  5. Let’s talk about the estate planning aspect to of all of this. I will be inheriting a large estate from a parent that is single. Currently the lifetime gift tax exemption is only 12 million dollars. In a meeting with our estate attorneys I asked them what would happen if my single parent got married. The answer was the gift tax exemption would be doubled to 24 million. I thought it would be a great idea if perhaps my single parent would marry a friend in order to get the larger exemption. I thought if the person was a not a citizen they could also gain citizenship and perhaps we could even charge the new spouse some sort of fee. The lawyers were not impressed with my plan and said you can’t marry someone to increase the size of your gift tax exemption. Why is this the case? Also if my single parent were able to marry 4 or 5 people simultaneously this bird brain could just avoid the taxes all together.

  6. A “throuple” consists of at least two people who are at least bisexual. Therefore “throuples” increase the 2SLBGTQQIA+ set and should be promoted (perhaps they all turn asexual when bored after two years, but that still leaves them in the set).

    Classic heterosexual polygamy won’t be promoted.

  7. I am outraged that the gay-marriage advocate mocked the notion of marrying a toaster.

    Some of the happiest, most sensual, moments of my life have come from a perfectly-toasted bagel! 🙂

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