Temporary Permanent Coronapanic

From a Bloomingdale’s department store, February 19. 2024 (entering Year 5 of coronapanic):

Temporarily out of service. We’re sorry, this water fountain is not in use, due to enhanced safety measures in place to protect our customers and colleagues!

(Who will protect them against dehydration? This is a store in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, where daily high temperatures routinely exceed 90 degrees in the summer (possibly lethal, according to the New York Times). Bloomingdale’s is managed from Manhattan so the policy against toxic water fountains may come from the COVID experts of New York.)

What I enjoy here is the use of the term “temporarily” regarding a policy that is likely about to hit its fourth anniversary.

What else did they have in the store? Proof that inflation is a figment of your imagination.

A set of sheets is only $1,100.

Why was I in a department store rather than at Costco or Walmart, you might reasonably ask? I was helping my mother get set up as a Floridian. Mom is devoted to patterned sheets, as celebrated in the groovy 1960s and 70s. The style today, however, seems to be plain sheets and a pattern on the comforter (perfect for Palm Beach County when the overnight lows are in the 50s and the public school teacher serves the children hot chocolate (yes, this happened!)). Compared to pre-2020, the department store experience has been transformed. We couldn’t find any salespeople in Macy’s, Bloomingdale’s, or Nordstrom. If we saw something on display we couldn’t find packaged versions nearby in the sizes that we wanted. What we were able to do was take pictures of labels and then find the items online at macys.com. Here’s a fun one that is perfect for South Florida (admittedly, even folks who’ve been here 20 years have never seen an alligator in our neighborhood):

If it is impossible to hire people to sell and stock shelves, should the future department store just be a display of stuff that you order online and receive within a few days? Kind of like an IKEA, but without the attached warehouse?

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8 thoughts on “Temporary Permanent Coronapanic

  1. Who will protect them against dehydration? The Biden administration.
    What else did they have in the store? Apparently expensive bedding.
    Why was I in a department store rather than at Costco or Walmart, you might reasonably ask? Your membership at the private shopping club was revoked because too many people used unauthorized words in the comment section of your blog.
    If it is impossible to hire people to sell and stock shelves, should the future department store just be a display of stuff that you order online and receive within a few days? Yes!
    Kind of like an IKEA, but without the attached warehouse? Yes. I would recommend the Swedish meatballs.

  2. Everything old is new again – remembering the JC Penny’s & Montgomery Ward’s catalogue stores from long ago.

  3. Philip buying his mom a set of sheets: $1,100
    Mom still think inflation is what it used to be in the 60’s or 70’s: Priceless

    • George: I could give you 1,100 good reasons why I didn’t buy that particular set of sheets, but the biggest one is that it lacks the bold pattern sought by my mom!

  4. A couple of the Macy’s in Austin, Texas are poorly staffed. You have to go looking for a sales person.

  5. Must be negligence to disable a drinking fountain in Fl*rida. It’s more sane farther north. Bloomingdales was once the only public restroom in a sea of closed restooms in San Francisco. Doubt it’s still around.

  6. Now I may never get to delivery that long over-due thank you lunch at A+J in Rockville for all of your assistance in the ground school class. My best to Mom as she embarks on her new adventure in the sunshine state!

    JJD – All alone again at KGAI

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