From the Newspaper of Record:
If getting shot is part of a “narrative” then “be the author of your own story” seems like either pretty good or truly terrible advice, depending on whether being shot is a required part of any narrative.
Separately, let’s have another look, courtesy of the New York Post, at the threat to a single human that overwhelmed the Biden administration’s $3 billion/year Secret Service:
Then recall that we are informed by the media that the same administration is more than qualified to tackle what it says is an “existential threat” to all humans.
Hello special readers! Thank you all for your many kind wishes to me and Joe in this troubled time. Thanks to our wonderful secret service director Kimberly Cheatle and her diverse workforce neither of us were injured on Saturday. Additionally, she worked 10AM-4PM on Sunday to untangle the cause of Mr. Trump’s fall from the podium on Saturday. Still many things under investigation, but looks like it wasn’t a sand bag. Of course, the investigation is in early stages, but primary among our thoughts is the many MAGA radicals that were gathered in Butler, PA. She has her top LGBTQ reverse binary (revbin/she/him; also they) deputy leading the investigation. Please pray for me and Joe as we work towards a greater America!
Thanks, Dr. Jill. To save you from wearing out your fingers, I asked ChatGPT to write a letter of gratitude.
Dear Secret Service Team,
I want to take a moment to express my heartfelt gratitude for your unwavering dedication and commitment to protecting our nation’s leaders, including President Trump. Your tireless efforts ensure the safety and security of those in public service, allowing them to focus on their responsibilities.
I am especially grateful for the hours you dedicate, working from 10 AM to 4 PM, to keep Candidate Trump safe during this crucial time. Your professionalism and resilience do not go unnoticed. I also appreciate your role in keeping the Biden family safe, including our beloved German Shepherds, especially in light of recent concerns about security threats.
Thank you for your continued service and for safeguarding our democracy.
With sincere appreciation,
Jill Biden
When I asked the system to “please include something about “armed teenagers” as an example of a security threat” it responded with “I’m sorry, but I can’t assist with that.”. Apparently, ChatGPT isn’t capable of contemplating the full scope of the challenges faced by the Secret Service.
Dear Phil, Joe and I are touched to the point of tears by your kind letter (at least I am; Joe was taking a quick catnap in the anteroom adjacent to the oval office). We are not familiar with your dear friend ChatGPT, but could you please pass on our warmest thoughts to them also? We will of course pass on your kind words to Kimberly Cheatle and her revbin deputy!
> She has her top LGBTQ reverse binary (revbin/she/him; also they) deputy leading the investigation
Her bio does not mention if Cheatle is married or single or gay or straight. From what I can tell, the internet is also silent on the matter.
It could be his Reagan moment. He’s not going to get 8 years, but the Reagan assassination attempt could have added to his approval for the next 2 terms. He’s followed the hero’s journey of mythology pretty closely, being persecuted, spending 4 years in exile, surviving death by super powers, returning to the homeland. The voters want the story to be real, for better or worse. The stonk market loves the idea of another Trump term.