We recently took a cruise on the Celebrity Ascent to five Caribbean islands: Tortola, Antigua (annoying/aggressive vendors at the pier), Barbados, St. Lucia (nicer than I remember from 35 years ago, but statistically much more dangerous), and St. Kitts (minus Nevis). St. Kitts turned out to be our favorite among the above. Orientation map:
Basseterre:
(Norwegian Epic at left and Marella Discovery nursing her calf at right.)
The drivers tend to be colorful:
Our official Celebrity shore excursion consisted of a 22 people on a 22-passenger minibus whose driver went by “WhatsApp” and doubled as a guide. He showed us around downtown and then took us north towards Brimstone Hill Fortress National Park, a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Roughly once per minute he honked the minibus horn, not due to Maskachusetts-style road rage but because we were passing someone he knew. He would add a straight-arm wave that looked a lot like the purported Nazi salute of Elon Musk (neither, in fact, a Nazi salute according to Wikipedia, which requires the palm to be down). With a population for both islands of around 55,000, one is never far from a friend or acquaintance on St. Kitts and Nevis. (Our cheerful driver was never that far from an ex-girlfriend either. He had five children with three different females, each of whom had kicked him to the curb. “I live with my Daddy now,” he said, without apparent disappointment.)
Brimstone Hill Fortress is a great example of the wastefulness of military spending. The British spent 100 years building the fortress and it fell after one month to a French siege. Note that the Kittitians follow the same pricing program for their national park that the hated dictator Donald Trump has imposed for U.S. National Parks, i.e., foreigners must pay a higher rate:
Maybe the British troops were easily defeated because they were always on their phones?
If the guns of the day had been of Iowa-class quality they could have shelled Sint Eustatius (still part of the Netherlands):
Immigration has It’s sobering to think how short-lived the sugar industry was on St. Kitts and similar islands, considering the destruction to native peoples and cultures that resulted from the immigration of Europeans and Africans (involuntary, mostly, for the latter).
The victors get to design and print the stamps:
Our driver explained that as St. Kitts became wealthier, the native-born didn’t want to work in the cane fields. “We imported labor from Trinidad,” he said, “but it turned out not to make economic sense because they remitted most of their wages back home. So we shut down the sugar industry.” (Of course, in the U.S. it makes perfect economic sense to bring in migrants who will remit their wages back to Somalia!)
We eventually worked our way down towards the southern portion of the island, home to a Marriott and a new luxurious Park Hyatt that our driver says is now the best hotel. One can see the Atlantic to the left and the Caribbean to the right.
A few scenes of downtown:
The handset was missing from this old phone booth. If the U.S.-European war over Greenland destroys most of the Earth and all printed and electronic records how would a future archaeologist determine the function of the miniature red house?
What would a basic room at the Park Hyatt cost for January 25-31?
Burdened with kids? A one-bedroom villa is $4,105 per night. I guess the average American will have to keep toiling at his/her/zir/their job to support the Somali day cares rather than enjoy life on St. Kitts during the peak winter season!
St. Kitts also might be a no-go zone for Massachusetts elites. I didn’t see a rainbow flag on any of the churches nor on any house and it’s tough to stay healthy because smoking “essential” marijuana is prohibited at the portside food court.
He has a bayonette but no gun. History has been cleansed.
Dear Phil,
Pleased to hear you like St. Kitts and Nevis, which like other countries in the Carribean, is a known tax haven for high net worth tech entrepeneurs. And for around $400K/$800K (condo/single family home) investment in real estate or a $250K investment in some economic development fund (additional terms and conditions apply), a person can become a dual citizen:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Kitts_and_Nevis#Economic_citizenship_by_investment
(Disclaimer: not sure if Trump wants to annex St. Nevis and Kitts in the near future.)
DK: the tax haven aspect doesn’t work for US citizens. We are taxed everywhere in the world unless we renounce our citizenship, in which case we must pay a huge exit tax on unrealized capital gains (many of which may be fictitious and solely due to inflation). The exception is Puerto Rico:
https://www.gq.com/story/how-puerto-rico-became-tax-haven-for-super-rich
(Of course, it would still make sense for American Democrats to buy themselves a St. Kitts passport. They say that Trump is Hitler 2.0 and the U.S. is oppressed by a cruel dictatorship, complete with Gestapo 2.0 (ICE, which is actually worse than the Gestapo because the Gestapo didn’t wear face masks). Instead of displaying themselves at protests so that the Nazi 2.0 regime can identify them as enemies of the state
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/ice-out-rally-minneapolis-immigration-protest-rcna255631
you’d think that they would either be leaving the U.S. while they still can or at least preparing to leave.)
Damn FATCA, damn it to hell. They even got to Swiss banks.
From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_Account_Tax_Compliance_Act
> The number of Americans renouncing their citizenship has risen each year since the enactment of FATCA, from just 743 in 2009 to 3,415 in 2014, 4,279 in 2015, and 5,411 in 2016. Among those who renounced was the then Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, who did so after the IRS taxed the sale of his house in London.
FYI, every island you mentioned (and same for all others in the Caribbean, for that matter) are inferior to St. Barts. No cruise ships dumping thousands of people there every day, safest by far, best food by far. Best option is to rent a home for a week or two and make sure to get one with a great kitchen (very common) because one can purchase excellent imported French food at the French supermarket/others there for grilling out etc., but there are great restaurants too. Very expensive, but you won’t be disappointed if you pick a really nice place up high with pool and a view.
Thanks. I’ve heard great things about St. Barts, except for the in-season prices. I’m not sure why it is worth paying huge $$, though, to be there instead of in Palm Beach County, Florida. I thought that people are happy to pay the high St. Barts prices because they party with their international elite friends who converge on the place during the US/Euro winter. I’m not connected to the international elite so I’d be partying by myself playing music on my phone, which I could do in our back yard for $0 and with zero transportation effort.
So, if St. Barts is a waste of time and money because Palm Beach has everything you need during US/Euro winter, then why go to St. Kitts? Call me confused.
St. Kitts sounds really wonderful as per wokipedia…if you’re into crime and violence:
Crime in Saint Kitts and Nevis is considerably higher than many other parts of the world. In 2012 Saint Kitts and Nevis had a homicide rate of 33.6 per 100,000 citizens, the 8th highest in the world,[1] and the 7th highest during the period from 2005 to 2014.[2] As of 2011 Basseterre had the highest murder rate of any capital city in the world at 131.6 per 100,000 inhabitants (a total of 17 murders in the city that year).[3]
Most violence and criminal activity in the country is believed to be gang and drug related.[4]
DC: Whoa! That’s quite the crime rate. It didn’t feel unsafe and the super cautious Celebrity folks warned us about crime in St. Lucia, but not in St. Kitts. ChatGPT: “This is not random violence, and tourists are rarely targeted.”
Confused: Why is $6,000 per day for lodging+meals in St. Barts (assumes two people; AI-assisted) plus airfare a waste of money when $600/day for a cruise ship ($0 airfare; two people) that visits St. Kitts isn’t a waste of money? In addition to being just 1/10th the price, the cruise ship gives you a boat ride. I personally love being out on the open deck for an hour or so before arriving in any port or departing from any port. We experience the Caribbean Sea (or Sea of Obesification) as the noble Arawaks might have when they migrated from South America to the Caribbean (the native-born inhabitants of these islands experienced all of the benefits of immigration: “Evidence suggests that Arawakan-speaking peoples (including the Taíno) migrating from South America did largely displace, assimilate, or eliminate earlier inhabitants of the Caribbean, known as the Ciboney or Archaic Age people”). The main difference is that we viewed the scene from about 150′ above the water.
I’m with St. Barts and Confused. Grok says crime on St. Barts is literally zero (says way safer than Palm Beach!) because it’s all white…they never imported a black population there (hence the resulting massive crime that infests every other island in the Caribbean as on St. Kitts). Villas there look stupendous and the food sounds unbelievable (see links)!
Also, your AI generated $7,000/night price is way high…by a factor of 10 for a wicked nice place! See the links below for some gorgeous villas at $700-800/night with sleeping accommodations for four. Homes with four bedrooms and awesome locations can be had for $1,500/night.
Sorry, but you’ll have to pay extra for your Arawak friends…maybe take a day trip to St. Kitts to visit them! Just pack your 9mm that day.
https://new.rentalsunited.com/Property/3510342?df=03/02/2026&dt=11/02/2026&nop=2&sc=554691
https://www.myvillainstbarth.com/en
Hmmm… that house rental is much cheaper than I expected! And the price seems to include transportation from the airport or port. Maybe AI is mislead by reports of what people spend during Christmas week. The French tend to vacation all at exactly the same time. Maybe we will try to visit St. Barts next year. It does have hills, which we lack in Palm Beach County (unless you count the landfill).
(Regarding crime, it doesn’t make sense to aggregate all of Palm Beach County, which is the largest geographically among Florida counties. There is quite a difference in crime from town to town and neighborhood to neighborhood. ChatGPT and Grok say that the variation can be explained by “Urban density” and “income inequality” being higher in certain areas. So I asked
You blame “urban density” and “income inequality” for high crime rates. Doesn’t Tokyo have very high density and also a lot of inequality? Why doesn’t Tokyo have a high crime rate?
Grok responded “Despite inequality, Japan has low poverty (~15% vs. U.S. 11-12%, but better distributed), near-full employment, and robust welfare (universal healthcare, pensions). This prevents desperation crimes common in unequal U.S. pockets.”
(i.e., the U.S. wouldn’t have crime if we just spent more on welfare (of course, the U.S. spends far more on welfare, as a percentage of GDP, than Japan does)
ChatGPT: “Japan has inequality, but far less extreme deprivation than U.S. high-crime areas.” and “Japan: near-zero civilian gun ownership”
There is nothing inherent about the humans who inhabit the respective low-crime and high-crime parts of the county or world that could explain a difference in crime rate.)
Double Confused has the facts correct on St. Barts (beyond what my original post said). If you go:
1) Fly there. Do *not* take the ferry from St. Maarten (can be a very rough and miserable ride and nothing to see).
2) The flight there is actually an exciting high point for many people of the entire visit (the landing in particular!); I won’t spoil it for you, but google it and you will see. Great views from the plane, particularly if you connect through St. Maarten as you will be flying low (short hop).
3) Fly *only* on Tradewind Air…their service is so far above the others it isn’t even close (you can bring all the bags you want and they will all arrive there with you; super nice lounges at your connections in PR or St. Maarten). They also fly really nice Pilatus planes that are new. The other airlines are crappy (and pilots sometimes look sketchy).
4) You mention free transportation from the airport….*rent* a car for the duration. Preferably the smaller the better as the roads are very narrow/curvy/hilly and the island is very small so a small car is an advantage. You will want a car to get around (to the towns/shopping etc).
Nice. Serious question. As a retired person who has never travelled the world and wants to remain safe, where should my first international trip be to? I love the US and don’t really understand the need to go anywhere else but everyone is telling me to go somewhere overseas to “broaden my mind.” Where should I go, and also be safe-ish. I’m not a worry wort but when I am not carrying a gun I’m kind of paying attention.
I am told the Hawaiins are insufferable. The Dominican Republic is nice but don’t drink the water. Lots of friends are telling me to go to Mexico but that is a NO. I don’t do cartels.
Mike: That’s a great question. My vote is Japan. It’s radically different from the U.S., but not because it is poorer than the U.S. It’s obviously extremely safe. You might want to go on an organized tour, though, just to smooth out the logistics of getting from garden to castle to garden, etc. It’s relatively inexpensive to get to because there are so many flights from the U.S. Once you’re there, everything is somewhat cheaper than in comparable U.S. cities.
Let me take a look through https://philip.greenspun.com/personal/countries …
Oh yes, if you like the outdoors, want to go during the U.S. winter, and don’t want to deal with learning a different language: New Zealand. It’s beautiful right now, I’m sure. 73-degree high temp in Auckland later this week. Right now I’m in Cambridge and the outside temp is 4F.
My employer recently hired a St. Kitts-born native for a Sr. Admin. Assist. position. She’s competent and friendly. She and her Kittian husband emigrated to the US in the ’80s and both served over 20 years in the US Army
^ She and her husband are each collecting an Army pension plus a 90% Army disability pension. Collecting about $70K each, plus Tricare for life, and able to work regular office jobs.
DP: They’re smarter than 90% of native-born Americans!
I have never been there on a cruise ship (so the experience may de different), but Guadalupe is beautiful and charming. It’s part of France, so the food is much better than that in the rest of the nearby Caribbean, and they have things like actually enforced environmental laws (although St. Lucia is somewhat better than the rest of the Eastern Caribbean that way as well), so the water is beautiful and relatively full of fish. As far as crime goes, it’s supposedly the most dangerous part of France, and the least dangerous part of the Caribbean. 10/10 would recommend. The baked goods, specifically, are excellent.
One thing I noticed all over the Caribbean is that the history is harrowing. Conquest after conquest and massacre after massacre seem to have been the norm for the colonial period.