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Lean In, the bestselling book by Nell Scovell and Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg, has a chapter advising women on how to pick a husband if they want to succeed in Corporate America. The chapter is titled “Make Your Partner a Real Partner.” It turns out that marriage is correlated with success: “Of the twenty-eight women who have served as CEOs of Fortune 500 companies, twenty-six were married, one was divorced, and only one had never married.”

Sandberg and Scovell decry the findings of surveys that, on average, men don’t do as much in the home as women. The book says “We all need to encourage men to lean in to their families.” I.e., men should be changed. The authors are not wide-eyed optimists when it comes to the prospects of scrubbing up a Neanderthal into a sensitive vegan so they recommend careful selection prior to the marriage: “do not marry [an attractive-to-you man]. The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands. When it comes time to settle down, find someone who wants an equal partner.”

How easy is this? “Wonderful, sensitive men of all ages are out there. And the more women value kindness and support in their boyfriends, the more men will demonstrate it.” The chapter concludes “We need more men to sit at the table… the kitchen table.”

[To the woman who hasn’t been successful in finding a plausible mate, Sandberg’s message is basically “Look how incompetent you are compared to me. Not only do you make less than $50 million per year but you didn’t realize that there are millions of single guys out there who would rather change diapers and talk about feelings than watch NASCAR and football.”]

The couples with which Sandberg is familiar seem to be ones in which nannies and cleaners do most of the household and child-related work. Really the marital squabble seems to come down to which parent decides how to spend the near-infinite river of family income on local, organic, vegan, and gluten-free items at Whole Foods. The authors cite a couple in Massachusetts that I actually know. The mom is a bigshot at a non-profit organization. The dad is a child psychiatrist who, according to Sandberg, “leaned in” to do far more than the traditional male share of child rearing. Perhaps he did, but this couple has twins that are about the same age as Greta, my 3.5-year-old, so I see the kids a lot. Of the 50 or so times that I’ve seen the twins, were they with mom or dad? Once they were with mom. Once they were with both parents. 48 times they were with a Brazilian nanny.

What about the woman who does not expect to command Sandberg-style financial resources and the associated team of domestic laborers? Or the woman who is skeptical of her ability to hold a man to promises of extraordinary child-rearing efforts that he made before he had any idea of what marriage and child-rearing entailed? Let me suggest what I think is far more practical advice than Sandberg and Scovell’s: Marry the only child of immigrant parents. The couples that I know of where there is the least amount of conflict regarding household- and child-related tasks are those in which the immigrant grandparents live nearby (or in the same house) and cheerfully and skillfully contribute a huge amount of effort toward making the family successful. With Grandpa and Grandma around nearly 24×7 it is no longer critical whether or not the husband can be persuaded to give up his career ambitions, his television and video game addiction, etc.

 

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I’m taking some recurrent helicopter training in Torrance, California at the Robinson Factory (some photos of the R66 assembly line). I ran into one of my old instructors, who has graduated to flying fancy turbine-powered helicopters in Dubai. How has life worked out for him over there? Despite having grown up in one of the world’s most beautiful countries, at the center of Europe, he doesn’t mind the Dubai climate and sandy landscape. The continuous sunshine makes him happy. He found another expatriate there to marry and they live in a comfortable downtown apartment. Rents are about the same as in the more expensive U.S. cities, i.e., $2000-4000 per month for the nicest 2-3 bedroom places downtown. Incomes for pilots are at least double what American companies pay. “I earn about $180,000 per year,” my friend noted, “but you have to remember that it goes a lot farther than in the U.S. or Europe because there are no taxes.”

Is the party for expatriate pilots going to end once the locals get their ratings? “My operation does not have any Emirati pilots,” he explained, “though various airlines down here have 5-year programs where a local person will get paid a salary while learning to fly from 0 hours through ATP [about 1500 hours]. Somehow they end up not wanting to pursue aviation as a career. So there is always a need for a foreign pilot.”

More: Heritage Foundation’s report on the U.A.E. (a bit surprising because I thought that it was mostly the government spending oil money but these guys claim that government is only about 22 percent of GDP, a much lower percentage than in the U.S.; I wonder if they are accurately accounting for government-affiliated companies)

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A friend of mine who lives across the river recently upgraded his gun permit, notoriously hard to get from the Boston Police Department, to be almost completely unrestricted. He can’t buy and carry a machine gun but otherwise he can walk around with a high-capacity pistol any time and more or less any place except some college campuses that ban guns.

How did he do it? “It turns out the legislators didn’t want their laws against gun ownership to apply to them. Nearly all of them are lawyers so they set it up so that if you have bar association card you can get an unrestricted permit. They thought it would look bad if they exempted only legislators.”

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A friend of mine told me the other day how he’d hired H&R Block to do his 2012 tax returns. He is a regular W2 employee, married, and owns a house. No Schedule C, no rental property, no kids, and nothing else that would seem complicated.

“Every previous year I’ve done my own taxes, but the regulations and laws have gotten so complex that it is now finally beyond my comprehension so I’m paying about $600 to H&R Block. There is no way that I could conceivably keep up with all of the changes that Congress and the IRS make from year to year.”

What’s my friend’s job? He’s an attorney working for the federal government.

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Back in January I took my three-year-old to shop for a party at the Costco in Waltham, Massachusetts.

Reggie LeBlanc checked my receipt as I left the store and made a little magic marker drawing on it for my daughter. He has a genial grandfatherly appearance. As I arranged the child and receipt in the cart for the trip to the car, I overheard two women chatting.

Woman #1: “Do you know who that was? He won $11 million last month in the lottery and he is still coming to work. I would be out of there in a second.”

Woman #2: “He’ll be married to a gold digger within a year.”

Woman #1: “One of the cashiers told me that she’s already trying to get him to marry her.”

I’ve been back to the story a couple of times but I haven’t seen Reggie there again. Next time I will ask what he is up to.

Background: story about the $50 million jackpot split by two Costco workers

 

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I finally saw the movie “Lincoln” this evening. A companion asked me “Suppose that the Civil War had never been fought or the South had won. How much longer could they have continued with slavery given that it had been abolished in most of the rest of the world?” I didn’t have a good answer.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abolition_of_slavery_timeline shows that legal slavery persisted in Arab and North African countries until as late as 2007 though the last country that was reasonably comparable to the American South, Brazil, seems to have completely abolished slavery in 1888.

What do readers think? How long would slavery have lasted in the South if the confederate states had been successful in seceding?

[Separately, I was shocked to learn from the movie that two Connecticut Representatives had voted against the 13th Amendment. But then I asked “the Google” (as George W. Bush referred to it) and the consensus seems to be that in fact Connecticut’s delegation was solidly in favor of the amendment. The screenwriters were apparently too lazy to use the Internet to check this seemingly ridiculous fact. If they got that wrong it is hard to know how much of the rest of the movie to believe…]

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DxO has published a test of three very costly Leica digital rangefinder cameras, heirs to the legendary M-series of film cameras. The results of the objective test are not pretty: “these cameras offer the worst image quality DxOMark have tested on a full frame sensor, with the exception of the 10-year-old Canon EOS 1Ds.”

The CCD sensors in these Leicas turn in numbers that are more like those of a point-and-shoot Sony RX100 and far behind the disposably-priced-by-comparison Sony NEX cameras.

Either the objective tests are missing a lot of what is important to the human eye or humans who praise the results from these Leicas in non-blind tests are highly suggestible.

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The stock market is up in nominal dollars (“mini dollars”). How are U.S. investors doing compared to 2007? The S&P 500 peaked at 1565 in October 2007. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, it would need to be 1738 today, about 12 percent higher, to yield the same spending power.

If we measure spending power in bars of gold, the S&P 500 has a lot farther to go to recover the losses since 2007. Gold was $800 per ounce in October 2007, so the S&P 500 was worth 1.9 ounces. With gold at $1600 per ounce today you’d need the S&P 500 to be over 3000 to have the same buying power.

If wealth is to be measured in spending power another consideration is tax rates. The only way for an investor to get a return is via capital gains or dividends. Taxes on that kind of income have gone up by roughly 11 percent of the total received since 2007 (federal income tax adds 5 percent; state income tax perhaps another 2 percent; ObamaCare surtax tacks on another 4 percent for people in households making $250k/year or more). Consumption taxes, e.g., sales tax and hotel and restaurant taxes, have gone up 2-3 percent. So it seems reasonable to conclude that the S&P 500 would have to go at least 15 percent higher in order to compensate for these new taxes.

My back-of-the-envelope calculation is therefore that the S&P 500 would have to rise at least another 33 percent, i.e., to about 2000, in order to yield the same spending power that it had in October 2007.

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Nearly thirty years ago I worked at an MIT spinoff company populated by troll-like computer programmers. In the midst of these frogs was a beautiful blond princess, the treasured daughter of a WASP family in Maine. Despite the multi-decade interval, she recognized me at the Whole Foods in Weston yesterday in the mid-afternoon [note: Weston is one of Boston’s wealthiest suburbs]. Despite being in her early 50s she was little changed: slender, beautifully dressed, perfectly coiffed. Her phone was full of photos of three healthy attractive children. I felt very happy for her as I watched her get into her Mercedes SUV. She had dodged so many bullets to get to this point in her life without anything truly bad occurring.

Today was unfortunately not as joyful. It started well when I gave an Antarctica slide show at my daughter’s day care center. One big difference between teaching 4-year-olds and MIT undergrads is that the MITers very seldom hug the lecturer at the end. The questions got fairly technical, though. One child asked how it was that whales were able to rise to the surface after diving deeply. This led to a discussion about buoyancy due to air inside the whale and the fact that the air expanded a bit every time the whale rose to a higher point in the ocean. Another child asked how were whales able to move forward when swimming, which prompted a discussion about Newton’s Third Law.

After lunch, however, I went to visit a 61-year-old friend who has been suffering with liver cancer (I lost a dog to this disease in 1991). He had been enjoying working and had planned to work until nearly the end, but a decision to try chemotherapy forced him to stop: “The side effects from chemo just destroyed my ability to do anything. But I didn’t want to just do nothing. Anyway, the chemo had no positive effects, which was the most likely outcome.” He was trying to stay home as much as possible: “Being in the hospital is horrible. They woke me up at 4:00 am once to ask whether I was sleeping well.”

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A friend of mine is a top science researcher working as a professor at a state university. Every year he is required to take several hours of diversity training and sexual harassment training. With a lab full of grad students and post-docs, an experiment on another continent, a full schedule of talks, and young children at home, how does he find time for this? “You can’t just turn the videos on and try to work. The software monitors your mouse movements. So I hire this company in India that Tim Ferris, the four-hour workweek guy, promotes. They take the training on my behalf.”

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