Sean Connery as an inspiration for American suburban life

by philg

From one of our Facebook friends:

RIP, Sir Sean Connery. Your impact on my childhood and becoming a man cannot be understated. Thank you.

This led to a mystified chat discussion. The guy who posted this has been married for 25 years, works at a desk job, never does anything without first asking his wife for permission, never expresses an opinion that he and/or his wife think might upset the town’s cabal of stay-at-home moms, and is an apparent slave to his high school-age daughters. What was the connection between James Bond and the suburban soccer dad? How had Danny Dravot’s attempts to take over Afghanistan in The Man Who Would Be King inspired his trips to Costco?

Also, if Joe Biden delivers on his promise to shut down the United States, do we start calling Anthony Fauci “Dr. No”?

Related:

  • Wikipedia reveals the inclusive nature of the U.K. Connery was knighted by the Queen in 2000 despite (a) living in the Bahamas to minimize income tax liability, and (b) supporting Scottish independence.

13 thoughts on “Sean Connery as an inspiration for American suburban life”

  1. >Connery was knighted by the Queen in 2000 despite (a) living in the Bahamas to minimize income tax liability, and (b) supporting Scottish independence.

    I have a pet theory about high-profile and/or extremely successful British: one they have achieved international fame and fortune to an incontrovertible extent, they are regarded as being free human beings and celebrated by the Royalty rather than disparaged, because awarding them a title and keeping them friendly is more beneficial than trying to oppose, disown or destroy them. Like Sir Richard Branson, for example. At some point they allow a certain number of their subjects to be free, with some stipulations, and the provision that they act like gentlemen. But the little people live a different existence. It’s not that dissimilar to the United States in that regard, just a different set of protocols.

    • Different set of protocols: Remember Barack Obama on Jay Leno describing his bowling as being like “…the Special Olympics or something…” back in 2009? He was obviously not yet sufficiently self-censored, but he did come in for some criticism and later apologized for his insensitivity. Today he would have inspired a neverending Tweetstorm of cancel abuse. At least he didn’t say: “I’m from Hawaii, Jay. I bowl like a retard!”

      I was watching that show the night he said it, and because I have Stockholm Syndrome, I immediately thought: “How Dare You?!!” Of course, he’s Obama, and people forgive him for those things, like they forgave Pete Buttigieg for using a living, breathing Hispanic man as a prop. to make fun of his accent.

  2. I’ve enjoyed reading some of the obituaries and the care they take to remind everyone that Connery’s movies and his treatment of women and their sexuality is utterly impermissible and would even be regarded as criminal in the times we live in. But nevertheless, he was popular then, and that’s how things were before the #MeToo Enlightenment:

    Like the one from the BBC:

    “In truth, his Bond is now a museum piece; the portrayal of women impossibly dated. The action scenes are still thrilling, but the sex too often bordered on the non-consensual.”

    https://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-54761824

    So you may have liked the movies, but don’t dare try to emulate him, or you’ll wind up on Riker’s Island.

    • Glad Alex is still here providing interesting comments. Take care of yourself, and don’t let the crazy world destroy your fine mind.

  3. Loosely related, for the rock & roll fans: “Volvo Driving Soccer Mom” Everclear, 2009. The only thing they really get wrong in this song is calling her a Republican.

  5. I had, back when I was in the Marines, a license plate bracket that said “Universal Exports.” My roommate and I always argued over which one of us was Bond and which was Felix Leiter (who I think of as kind of the original red shirt character).

    I’ve been searching for a Connery quote about throwing a good party. I guess it’s been pushed too far down the page rankings this close to the death of such a big celeb. The gist of it was that he recommended serving strong drinks and gradually turning the music louder as the night wore on. You wanted your guests drunk and yelling at each other by the end of the night. All of your guests would wake up in the morning with a headache and a sore throat thinking to themselves that they must’ve had a good time the night before.

    At 60, it still works. Although the drinks don’t have to be as strong or the music as loud as back when I first read that.

    Having been married 29 years I know that I often do what my wife tells me to do and I often ask for her permission. But I have to say that it often seems like she finds me most attractive when I tell her that I’m not going to do what she tells me to do. Or when I tell her what to do. Here’s the rub… if you go too far over that line the effect can be exactly the opposite. I admit to not having a clear idea of where that line is.

    She was amused when I told her she had to drive herself to Friday night’s dinner party at her sister’s place as I was headed to happy hour beforehand.

    “You’re going to go drinking before the dinner party?”

    “Yeah… it’s Friday. I want to have a little fun and good conversation. I know that won’t happen at your sisters.”

    She smiled and said, “See you there.”

    Alex, we have to get our freedom where it is available. There are a handful of spots here in Dallas where life has returned to normal. Going to one of them is glorious.

    • Thanks, Mike. I don’t know how “fine” my mind is, or how long it can withstand the neverending cavalcade of frightening characters and jarring juxtapositions, but like Vincent Vega I suppose I “have my moments.”

      When I think of people who had a really successful marriage, I think of my grandparents. They each had their areas of responsibility well-delineated, and accepted them, and they overlapped a little, but always within the same larger set, and they knew when to agree to disagree. They both also worked hard all the time and stayed very busy, which helped a lot. They lived through the Great Depression together and I think they thought: “If we can survive that, everything else will be easier.”

  6. Can’t vouch for the accuracy but they’re memorable nonetheless:

    https://comicbookandbeyond.com/sean-connery-quotes/

    “I met my wife through playing golf. She is French and couldn’t speak English and I couldn’t speak French, so there was little chance of us getting involved in any boring conversations – that’s why we got married really quickly.”

    “If America had been discovered as many times as I have, no one would remember Columbus.”

    “Perhaps I’m not a good actor, but I would be even worse at doing anything else.”

    “Only 4 percent of all the companies owned in Scotland have their head offices in Scotland.”

  7. Connery came along at the prime of my life, so I don’t remember anything negative about him. I hope he enjoyed every moment in the Bahamas and now exists in an even better place.

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