Science lawn sign idea

A fair number of our neighbors seem to have invested in “In this house we believe… science is real” or “Science is not a liberal conspiracy” signs. Signs of Justice (TM) are ubiquitous:

How about making some $$ with the following sign:

In this house we oppose science, because it was invented by the white patriarchy to enslave indigenous peoples, to enrich corporations that poison humanity with processed and genetically modified foods, to pollute our local environment, to destroy the Earth with climate change, and to kill millions of non-white people with nuclear weapons.

Readers: Who can turn the above text into a fetching graphic design?

(Don’t try to sell this in Florida. Lawn signs, bumper stickers, and other attempts to tell others how to think and what to believe were present at perhaps 1/100th the rate of what we have here in Maskachusetts.)

From a reader who wishes to remain anonymous, lest he/she/ze/they be Gina Caranoed:

4 thoughts on “Science lawn sign idea

  1. Heheheh. Hahahahah. Muuuahahahahahahah. If I have a chance I’ll work on it in the next couple of days. If we sell ’em, I want a cut.

  2. I would suggest a modification, for which no graphical design is required, just one picture with the following text.

    We Believe in Science,
    (insert picture of nuclear explosion)
    Because it allows us to nuke you, if we do not like you!

    Or just play the ending scene of Dr. Strangelove

  3. Dag. Your anonymous reader beat me to it. Nice job. I was in the process of identifying all the fonts and adjusting their character widths/etc. I was thinking of adding some little icons/glyphs to the end of each line (i.e., a little beaker for “Science”, a 50’s white guy for “Partriarchy”, some chains for “Enslave”, a biohazard symbol for “GMOs”, a smokestack for “Pollute”, a bursting thermometer for “Climate Change” and a mushroom cloud for “Nuclear Weapons”.

    That would have been a little busy, though.

    The only real criticism I have is that the line:

    “To Enrich Corporations Poisioning Humanity with GMOS”

    is a little tight because of the length. I would say:

    “To Enrich Companies Poisoning Us With GMOs”

    which would let them increase the font size a little. But otherwise, great job! If you have a vector version of it in CMYK, I can get the signs printed *cheap* for resale, full bleed, both sides if necessary, on a variety of substrates including *aluminum”. 18×24 is a good size for most lawn signs. Stakes included.

    Ditto for “LOCAL ENVIRONMENT” – just make it “ENVIRONMENT” ’cause that’s the truth, right? It’s not just local, it’s global.

    Then tighten up the spacing a little, etc.

    Otherwise Bravo!

  4. If they BELIEVE that science is real they confirm that they do not understand it. Science had has been was wrong for millennia according to more recent science, see Aristotle’s Model of Universe. Undoubtedly that many modern currently accepted scientific hypotheses will be proven wrong and discarded in the future. They need to add -“swear by holy Thales, Pythagoras and Democritus “

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