Practical tips for incels from the Gisele Bündchen-Tom Brady household

Happy National Work and Family Month. Nobody is more accomplished at working and having a family than Tom Brady, right? Let’s consider “Why Gisele Bündchen is right to ‘quiet quit’ her marriage to Tom Brady” (Journal of Venator Bidenus):

Gisele Bündchen, wife of legendary quarterback Tom Brady, is said to be fuming that he is still playing football after retiring at the end of last season — and then “unretiring” six weeks later.

The supermodel hinted at her disappointment to Elle magazine, saying “I’ve done my part, which is [to] be there for [Tom]. I focused on creating a cocoon and a loving environment for my children to grow up in and to be there supporting him and his dreams.”

But now her support seems to have dried up, with Gisele taking solo trips to Costa Rica and, most recently, New York, while skipping Brady’s first game of his third season with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

In short, the Brazilian stunner has been “quiet quitting” her marriage — and many of us wives and mothers of a certain age can relate. At some point, the job of running a household, raising kids and supporting a husband’s career while keeping the romance alive can feel like a burden. Especially during the pandemic. Who among us can honestly say they haven’t fantasized about taking a break and finally putting ourselves first?

And while Gisele certainly has more help than most of us managing the household, that doesn’t make it any easier, one expert said.

Invisible labor isn’t necessarily the physical things that need to get done,” said Gemma Hartley, author of “Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women and the Way Forward.”

“It’s noticing, planning and delegating. If you’re not the one that’s doing the work yourself, it’s overseeing it and making sure it gets done. Women see it as their responsibility, so even when we do delegate this work, it still seems to stay on our plates.”

That might mean she just needs an extended vacation. But it could also spell divorce.

Many professional working mothers with husbands unwilling to take on the demands of the household “have a tough choice,” writes author Lara Bazelon in her book, “Ambitious Like a Mother.” “Radically compromise who they are and what they want to stay in the marriage, or leave.”

A 2015 study by the American Sociological Association found that women initiate 69% of divorces, and among college-educated women, it’s 90%.

Instead of following his joy, perhaps it’s time Tom started giving his wife the support she needs — before it’s too late.

There is much to love in the above. My favorite is the idea of “invisible labor”. I am going to use that one to explain what do to keep our own tract mansion going.

For incels, the good news is that a loving female partner can be obtained and maintained. All that the incel needs to do is be (1) in possession of more charisma than Tom Brady, (2) more successful financially than Tom Brady, (3) in better physical condition than Tom Brady, and (4) more successful in his career than Tom Brady.

Separately, who has been to a Tampa Bay home game? I want to take the kids to see this potentially-soon-to-be-discarded-by-the-wife hero during his final season. What are some logistics suggestions for Raymond James Stadium? (One plan: see the giant flamingo sculpture at the Tampa main airport, which does not require going through security.)


22 thoughts on “Practical tips for incels from the Gisele Bündchen-Tom Brady household

  1. That’s the loudest case of Quiet Quitting I’ve ever seen! But these are celebrities and the juicy details are supposed to leak out for ongoing publicity puropses and alternate revenue stream development.

    Maybe she’ll pull a Tom Brady on Tom Brady, do a Quiet Quitting 180-Unquit handbrake turn, and in the interim catch him throwing a couple of passes into an Alternate Receiver, then take all his money.

    In the end, the best thing for Brady would be divorce assuming he was well-lawyered enough to keep most of his earnings. He can start all over again with someone half Bundchen’s age, retire again, “for real this time, with prejudice” and pursue a film career as an action hero star.

    • She’s worth about twice as much (and earns/earned about twice as much a year) as Brady.

      It’d be vaguely amusing if _he_ ended up getting a big payout in the divorce.

    • Ben: Perhaps some magazines have rated her as being rich, but if she were to become a divorce plaintiff I think we would find her lawyer presenting her as the lower-income spouse and entitled to a lifetime of future support.

  2. His support would be determined during his all-time peak earning year, so it is an opportune time for her to be unhappy.

    However, Gisele is apparently worth twice as much. “Tom is worth $250 million, with $30 million earned each year, while Gisele is worth $400 million, with $40 million earned each year, according to Celebrity Net Worth.”

    • John: No doubt the 42-year-old model is plenty rich, but if she does turn into a plaintiff, a lawyer could argue that her peak earning years for modeling are behind her and, therefore, she needs a continuing cash stream from Tom Brady, who can continue to earn money via endorsements.

    • The other side could argue that, based on her own statements (above), Tom should get custody and flighty Gisele pay child support.

  3. How quickly the highest earning player becomes the lowest earning player in fiat money. A loving female partner can be attained by the single comma club. It just entails dealing with someone else’s obesity complications, raising someone else’s kids, getting used to watching TV all day, & driving to go 50 ft.

  4. Very Far Aside: I’m pretty sure I remember seeing Gisele Bündchen back in 2008 (before she was married to Brady in 2009) on the old “Live with Regis and Kelly” show with Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa.

    At the time, she was not yet married to Brady they were apparently in a Togetherness Ritual of some kind. But she was still a completely independent woman and Supermodel. She is a sixth-generation German-Brazilian according to Wikipedia.

    At the time, I didn’t pay much attention to what was happening on the show, but particular day, it so happened that I was watching as Gisele was introduced. I remember Regis pronouncing her name: “BUUUUNND-chen” with Super Extra Emphasis on the “Bünd” part. Kelly Ripa was sitting next to him and the look on her face was unforgettable: like someone had just handed her a Mutilated Kitten Sandwich with Monkey Brain Sauce. Her face went Jenga Puzzle, her mouth hung open and she looked like she was going to lose it for a few seconds. I can only imagine what was going through her mind. It’s a good thing Regis was there or I think the world would have seen an epic “cat” fight – live on TV.

  5. Why any wealthy and successful man would want to get married in this day and age is beyond me.

    Clearly women think the supply of “good” men is unlimited, so they can opt out of a “not perfect” marriage whenever they want.

    Maybe we need to reduce the number of men so that they become rare? I think the men in Paraguay back in 1871 were enjoying their rareness (just 12% of the population).

    That reminds me – stupid young me should have attended a majority girl college. Pretending to be a socialist would have gotten me laid much more as well. Chicks dig socialists.

    • Why would anyone in the present wants to get laid in the past? @Deutschman , are you sorry that you have too few children and that your child support is too focused on person(s) that do not deserve it? sorry, trying to construct a plausible guess. do not mean to intrude. Such a wish for past fascinates me.

    • > Why any wealthy and successful man would want to get married in this day and age is beyond me.

      To deal with estate taxes. Not _all_ women are untrustworthy.

    • > Clearly women think the supply of “good” men is unlimited

      Only stupid ones. Which would be the absolute majority of them, but still…

  6. She is supposedly wealthier than him. Probably just tired of football, and (likely) his fooling around.

  7. Wouldn’t there be a simple solution? The strong, independent women go to work and the husbands stay at home and do the “invisible labor”.

    According to progressive dogma, women would love this arrangement, much like the inhabitants of Martha’s Vineyard love their refugees.

    • I’ve seen that kind of arrangement in the real life. (Both in vanilla and D/s flavors…)

      The problem with that is biological: the instinct (aka “emotions”) says that a sexually attractive man should display high visible rank signifying high quality of his genome. Which is a hard thing to pull when you’re doing dishes and caring for babies. So, yes, these weren’t entirely happy relationships, and every single one of these involved extramarital sex on female side.

      There’s a reason why the crappy romance fiction like 50 shades is so popular.

  8. How much invisible labour does a former supermodel worth $40m or whatever actually do?

    Perhaps Gisele could write a book (with coauthor) about how to manage the domestic chores in these hectic times.

  9. And by the way, wasn’t Tom Brady for many years infamously underpaid by the penny-pinching Patriots?

    I wonder how many times a week Kraft wakes up thinking “I fired the wrong guy.”

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