Tonight the people who put down $50,000 for a Tesla Roadster, announced in 2017, will learn what it is they’re buying and, maybe, how much they’re going to pay for it.
Tesla’s big differentiator right now is self-driving. But why is that valuable in a sports car?
Tesla’s latest creation will accelerate faster than a $50,000 used C8 Corvette? So what? A $50,000 C8 Corvette in Launch Control already accelerates at a terrifying rate, 0-60 in 2.9 seconds, for street use. (See Corvette driving school report (Ron Fellows near Las Vegas) for my report on what I did besides hang out with Hunter Biden in Pahrump.)
It will be great on a race track because each wheel can be individually controlled? If that’s a dramatic improvement then we’ll see Tesla Roadster-only racing?
The car was promised at $200,000 in pre-Biden dollars, right? If we assume that every Nvidia employee wants one, does that mean the market-clearing price for a Roadster will be closer to $500,000 post-Biden dollars? The people who paid $250,000 for a “Founders Series” car apparently weren’t guaranteed a car at that price. They can get a refund if they don’t like whatever Tesla now wants to charge them and Tesla has been holding the money all this time. (Gemini says that if they’d bought $250,000 of Nvidia in November 2017 it would be worth about $11 million today. A stupid investor (like me!) who instead bought the S&P 500 would have about $650,000 today, with dividends reinvested. So if Tesla delivers the car as promised and without charging any more money, it will cost the early adopters $650,000 in 2026 dollars.) I’m going to guess that the only Roadster that can be ordered for delivery within 18 months costs $375,000 (“Douche Edition”?) and that Tesla actually does honor the first 1,000 at $250k/$650k/$11 million depending on how one looks at the opportunity cost of the money. There will be talk about a $290,000 version, but it won’t materialize in our lifetimes.
What would it take for me to get excited about this offering? Seating for 7-plus-puppy and sliding doors!
You can see the 2017 prototype in Los Angeles at a minimum cost of $23 per adult:
Gemini says “EBT cardholders receive free general admission to the Petersen Automotive Museum in Los Angeles through community promotional offers”, but Grok disagrees and says that those who wisely choose to refrain from work get only 10% off.
How does this compare to the latest gas-powered concept vehicles? Here’s one from Alfa-Romeo with a hood long enough to hold a V-12:
I’m not sure how different the 2017 Tesla looks from the Maserati MC20:
Here’s a Chevrolet C9 Corvette concept, which could almost surely never be sold due to the lack of practicality, e.g., no luggage space. GM won’t let a base Corvette be useless like the Maserati above (5 cu. ft. luggage). It has to have some functional transportation value, though I guess the ZR1 and ZR1X push the limits by eliminating the frunk and leaving owners with a small hot trunk (about 9 cu. ft. vs. 15 on the base C8).
Update: This is what the Tesla Roadster will look like when it finally comes off the assembly line in 2028 (11:59 pm on December 31?):
I didn’t expect it to fly and I didn’t expect it to have enough vacuum power to park upside down! I have to say that this is pretty impressive, though the video stream wasn’t reliable (X still can’t figure out how to stream to everyone who wants to view; or maybe it was because I was using AirPlay to an old LG TV that came with out house? (such a good TV the previous owners didn’t feel like having it packed and moved)). Maybe it could corner at over 2g at low speeds due to the suction?
Production starts in 2028. If it slips even a few months, President AOC could be in power, inshallah, and outlaw all products associated with Elon Musk.
What are the odds the down+side thrusters are eversold to the public? Or even the carbon-fiber air tanks (10,000+ psi?), which would be a bomb in the event of an accident? Impressive, but so many possible failure modes + liabilty.
It seems as though everything behind the seats is mechanical. Maybe there is a tiny frunk of some sort? It doesn’t look like anyone could go away for a weekend in the Roadster. Maybe the idea is that you’re rich enough to own houses spaced every 400 miles around the U.S. and keep extra clothes and bathroom items at each house?
So they conveniently didn’t mention what you can actually buy: on their website – base version suction only: reservation – $50k, rear thrusters – $250k, full rocket version with vertical thrusters – single seat only – only by invitation. So peons like you and me can’t buy it even if we would be crazy enough to want one.
I’m Tesla fan and have 3 Teslas on the driveway, and I think this is their shittiest presentation to date.
They kept mentioning that this is the “only driver’s Tesla” that is going to be produced. My guess is that they are not going to put FSD into it. (Otherwise what does it even mean?)
It’s a lamborghini with all the internal volume filled with a COPV & suction fans. So which zillionaire is really going to risk his $1M investment & his 10 figure life doing those flips? Too bad about the puppy’s predecessor.
Looks not so good too – indeed it’s an old Lamborghini. It would be funny if they made it look like a squished Cybertruck!