Category: American Life

It’s been a year since my mother died (obituary). From the October 5, 2025 placement of ashes.

Kel Maleh Rachamim

O God, full of compassion, Thou who dwellest on high! Grant perfect rest beneath the sheltering wings of Thy presence, among the holy and pure who shine as the brightness on the heavens, unto the soul of Regina the daughter of Daniel and Cecile who has gone unto eternity, and in whose memory charity is offered. May her repose be in paradise. May the Lord of Mercy bring her under the cover of His wings forever, and may her soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life. May the Lord be her possession, and may she rest in peace. Amen.

Memory from Nephew Doug Frankel

Why was I lucky to be the nephew of Regina?

Because to me she was vacations. And adventure.  And culture.  And art.  And laughter.  To me she was an anchor, a homebase, and a challenge not to be lazy. When she did art, she didn’t just do it for herself, she did it for countless kids, inspiring them as an example and as a teacher and as a cheerleader. 

My mom and dad and little sis and I regularly hit the road for Bethesda, to Aunt Jean’s house, which felt like a second home because she made it that way.  It was a place I could overeat and oversleep and listen to conversations that were way over my head.  When her kids applied to schools, it seemed like they were aiming for Harvard and MIT, at the very very least, unless they could do better. 

I had so much ice cream with Regina over the years, it felt fitting that when we came to see her in Jupiter, Florida, we all went out for ice cream and it was great.  A truly good time.  Regina was always there for me and that meant the world.  And I know she meant the world to my mom, who never stopped bragging about her sister.  She said “You know, our house was one of the biggest in the whole neighborhood.  We had a lot of floors and a lot of bedrooms.  But we picked the smallest room on the highest floor, and we shared it.  Because that’s the way we liked it.  We always wanted to be together.  Jean is a wonderful sister.”  We will miss you Aunt Jean.  

Eulogy

Jewish tradition requires that a formal eulogy be delivered.

Regina exerted tremendous energy throughout her life in bringing and keeping family and friends together. She traveled from her home in Bethesda to New York, Boston, California, Florida, Egypt, Switzerland, France, and Mallorca for family reunions, visits to grandchildren, college reunions.

Regina was a diligent scholar and helped imbue her children with the values of reading, preparation, and on-time delivery of schoolwork. Regina showed us by example how to welcome friends and neighbors into a home. Regina showed us by example how to balance the roles of individual, spouse, and parent, never spending so much time on one role that she neglected the other two. She loved, appreciated, and supported fine art, literature, performance art, classical music.

Regina was always ready to explore new areas. She visited China, India, and Southeast Asia, for example, while her husband preferred the comforts of familiar destinations. Regina learned to play pinball and pool at age 90 from her grandsons. Regina was the one who said that it was time to move into a senior community where it would be easier to socialize while our father Nat would have stayed in our Glen Echo house from inertia.

Regina was patient and never succumbed to the distractions of the Internet and cable TV. She would go with me to the Palm Beach County Public Library in Jupiter and pick out a stack of large print books and then read them from cover to cover.

Regina was generous with her time and money. She taught at Washington Hebrew Congregation every weekend for many years. She taught art to grandchildren and any other children who happened to be around. She donated to conventional charities, never discouraged when I pointed out that the CEOs of those charities were paying themselves over $1 million per year. She donated her time and efforts within the Maplewood senior community to organize art exhibitions and hands-on arts and crafts events.

She was a beloved wife to Nathaniel for 65 years, never succumbing to the prevailing divorce culture despite her strong independent streak. She was a reliable loving mother to us even when we didn’t deserve it. Regina didn’t hold grudges and she didn’t complain about own challenges, even when her joints began to fail and required replacement.

Regina had many fine personal qualities that I will strive to emulate.

Graveside Mourner’s Kaddish (facing east)

Exalted and hallowed be His great Name. (Congregation responds: “Amen.”)

In the world which He will create anew, where He will revive the dead, construct His temple, deliver life, and rebuild the city of Jerusalem, and uproot foreign idol worship from His land, and restore the holy service of Heaven to its place, along with His radiance, splendor and Shechinah, and may He bring forth His redemption and hasten the coming of His Moshiach. (Cong: “Amen.”)

In your lifetime and in your days and in the lifetime of the entire House of Israel, speedily and soon, and say, Amen.

(Cong: “Amen. May His great Name be blessed forever and to all eternity, blessed.”)

May His great Name be blessed forever and to all eternity. Blessed and praised, glorified, exalted and extolled, honored, adored and lauded be the Name of the Holy One, blessed be He. (Cong: “Amen.”)

Beyond all the blessings, hymns, praises and consolations that are uttered in the world; and say, Amen. (Cong: “Amen.”)

May there be abundant peace from heaven, and a good life for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen. (Cong: “Amen.”)

*He Who makes peace (Between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur substitute: “the peace”) in His heavens, may He make peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen. (Cong: “Amen.”)

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As we prepare to celebrate 2026 let’s look back on some losses in 2025.

Brigitte Bardot, an icon of pre-Islamic French feminine beauty, died at 91. Still-funded-with-federal-tax-dollars, but in no way “state-sponsored” NPR:

In her 2003 book, Un Cris dans le Silence, she disparages immigrants, gays, French schools and contemporary art. She called Muslims “invaders” and railed against the killing of animals in the name of religion. She apologized in court in 2004 but also doubled down on what she called the “infiltration” of France by Islamic extremists.

(The percentage of France’s population who follow Islam is approximately double what it was in 2003.)

Here’s my favorite image from this New York Times collection. Just look at the beautiful golden hair (also, the lady in the photo looks okay):

Maybe we need to watch The Truth (nominated for an Academy Award back before the Academy banned movies made by white people)?

George Foreman, the oldest person to ever win the world heavyweight championship, died at 76. The father of 12 was also a big Donald Trump supporter, as it happens. The eponymous grill was actually developed by Michael Boehm and Bob Johnson. The latest version (Chinese-engineered?) might be an engineering miracle since they say it can be thrown into the dishwasher and also that it is nonstick. I don’t know how that is possible given that dishwasher detergent is abrasive (Google AI: “dishwasher detergents are chemically and physically abrasive, designed with strong alkaline ingredients and sometimes mild scouring agents to break down tough food, fats, and stains, which is great for dishes but can damage delicate items like knife edges, aluminum, and wood handles over time. While gels are generally less harsh, powdered and tablet detergents often contain stronger abrasives, making handwashing best for items you want to keep pristine”). Maybe we can credit Foreman as a miracle worker?

On the opposite side of sentiment regarding Donald Trump, Rob Reiner was murdered by his son, a sad example of heritability of personality. Reiner was addicted to hating Donald Trump and paranoid about what might happen if Trump were to become or continue as President. The son was also an addict and, apparently, paranoid, but with a different addiction and a different target for his paranoia. Big Five personality characteristics, such as conscientiousness, are heritable at about 50 percent. Abnormal personality, such as schizophrenia, is heritable at an even higher rate (maybe 80 percent).

Prunella Scales, who appeared in Fawlty Towers, died at 93. Maybe we need to re-watch the show?

Frank Gehry died at 96, which is how I learned that he was born “Frank Goldberg”. Imagine if his career in architecture were starting today and all of the far-wilder stuff that he would likely do with 3D printing. A photo taken of the Gehry-designed Walt Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles after picking up a Robinson R44 helicopter:

(Remember that Jews sunk the Titanic, a magnificent ship that Arab-Palestinian engineers created. The perpetrators were Goldberg, Rosenberg, and Iceberg.)

James Watson, dead at 97, was the only famous person who died this year with whom I was personally acquainted. I remember him as being passionate about the potential for the World Wide Web to transform education at a time when hardly anyone in academia was interested. Maybe the hoped-for transformation is finally upon us with AI? (Watson was canceled for revealing his belief that genetics is a key determinant of intelligence and that there isn’t any reason to expect the same median IQ in different races of humans.)

The toughest loss for me was, of course, that of my mother (see Obituary of Regina Greenspun, 1934-2025).

Readers: I hope that you didn’t lose anyone you loved in 2025 but that if you did you will spend some time today remembering them.

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